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I hurried downstairs in the early morning light, a twist of anxiety in my stomach, to find that the leveret had made a nest in the grass, scarcely larger than its body. It sat beside it, its diminutive ears pointing skywards, as if it were ready for the world. My sister had procured a box […]
On the bench Lia pinched her eyes.She exhaled and she said, ”Six o’clock or something?””However long you need.”Lia went over to catch and collar her son. ”Téo will be watching you today,” she explained. She knelt. ”And you watch out for Téo, yeah? Help him. Remember what we always say.””Because is grown-ups,” Joel tried.He hooked […]
There were the people to whom we were loyal; there were those to whom as a unit we were opposed. There were things we must respect – our father’s work, the need to help our mother on the rare occasions she asked, and little else – and values we must uphold, in particular a collective […]
She found a job for Billy in Rome, teaching voice-production to English student-priests in a seminary, for she wanted to go there with her baby boy, and she wanted Frederick to be with her. She did not want to change her public image just yet. Frederick looked at her as she suckled the baby and […]
The dashboard clock said twenty to nine. His first house call was scheduled for nine o’clock. It was Mrs Tallis, a schoolmistress who, he imagined, liked punctuality, but the fog was heavy still and he wasn’t going to hurry. On the wireless before he left the news was of a big London smog, the worst […]
If you wanted to describe Mina in a few words, you might say she was an asthmatic girl who loved words and rode a pygmy hippopotamus. But if you wanted to distinguish her from everyone else in the world, you’d say that she was a girl who could strike a match more beautifully than anyone. I’m […]
This was always the awkward bit. That strange beginning when patient and carer tried to assess who they were dealing with, while also attempting to assert their specific role in the arrangement. Damian took a deep breath and dived in.’Now, Frankie, would you have a cup of tea?’The suggestion seemed to make her sadder than […]
Martin’s family name had been Poise until about a hundred years ago, when his family dropped three letters for the freedom of a single syllable. Martin and Crystal went to the same college, dropped out of the same college, and in their early twenties moved to south through the cultural corridor of the Fargo Moorhead […]
The very act of recall is like trying to photograph the sky. The infinite and ever-shifting colors of memory, its rippling light, cannot really be captured. Show someone who has never seen the sky a picture of the sky and you show them a picture of nothing. Still I have to try. The thing you […]
I’d been packing on the day before going up to Oxford when the phone rang, and as nobody answered I nipped along the landing to the big bedroom. The lacquer-red extension was on what I had worked out was Esme’s side of the bed. Mum had made a new counterpane, oyster-white, which shimmered on top […]
Why Men Weep in Their Cars. Out in three months.It was a good title: a money title, Atticus was right.He chose ThinkUp – ’personalized affirmations and motivations daily’ – and listened ten times to a recording of his own voice saying, ’I am grateful for the good in my life.’ You could place piano music […]
Kirjasomen joulukalenterin eilinen luukku aukesi Kirsin Book Clubissa ja huomisesta luukusta vastaa Kirjan jos toisenkin -blogi. Kalenterin aloitusluukku löytyy Yöpöydän kirjat -blogista, jossa on lista kaikista luukuista linkkeineen. Kalenterin logot ovat perinteiseen tapaan myös Yöpöydän kirjat -blogin Niinan käsialaa. Tänään on vuorossa Kirjaluotsin pakkoneuloosi- ja äänikirja-addiktiopostauksen vuoro, josta onkin tullut jo joulukalenteriperinne. Eli luvassa vuoden […]
’You mean a mental asylum?’ her mother had said when Helen called to tell her about her new appointment at Westbury Park. ’Oh, Helen.’She had not expected congratulations; her parents were not the sort of people who took much pleasure in others’ success. In any case, her mother had an aversion amounting to phobia of […]
Years of study had convinced Evelyne that mantas were far smarter than the world suspected. She had spent too many decades of close observation to be cowed any longer by the prohibition against anthropomorphism. What began, centuries ago, as a healthy safeguard against projection had become an insidious contributor to human exceptionalism, the belief that […]
Tea-time was Lady Milton’s favourite time of day. By four o’clock all the difficult bits of the day were over and she could slide gracefully towards dinner and nearly bed. Johnny – Lord Milton – had no interest in afternoon tea. Never had. They ate breakfast together and sometimes briefly came together for luncheon, but […]
Well, well, well, Rosie D’Antonio is thinking, this day is certainly looking up. Rosie hadn’t liked the death threats from Vasiliy Karpin, the chemicals billionaire, of course she hadn’t, but these things come with the territory. If you have any sort of personality, someone will eventually want to kill you. And she shouldn’t have done […]
Olive rolled her eyes. ”I don’t believe in God. That’s all rubbish,” she said firmly.”Okay, but think of this, Olive. If God is love, then that man was touched by God.”Olive rolled her eyes again.”And maybe you don’t believe in God – which is fine, I don’t care – but you have been loved. And […]
Pietro doesn’t dream. He has a rare night of deep and solid unthinking sleep. His breaths and heartbeats are smooth and few, his face resolved of its creases, his body a well of atom-self, an unworried sum of parts, as if he knows that outside the earth falls away in perpetual invention and leaves nothing […]
For nine-tenths of human time on earth, people went underground. Their symbolic world was formed in part by activities in caves, by modalities and visions that darkness promised. Then, this all ceased. The underground world was lost to us. The industrial uses of the earth: the digging, fracking, tunneling, are mere plunder and do not […]
Places described by a lover are like no other places on earth. To learn a city in this way – boulevards curving, canals, cornices overhead – in the naked embrace, the luxury of listening while your skin is listening. The city slips into your body. And then, if you are fortunate enough to arrive there […]
I really wanted to read. Though Huck was asleep, I could not chance his waking and discovering me with my face in an open book. Then I thought, How could he know that I was actually reading? I could simply claim to be staring dumbly at the letters and words, wondering what in the world […]
She consulted her watch, the watch that would in time be Magi’s. Barely after eight-thirty. Up at the big apartment, at the top of the hill, there would still be the last sunlight, the beautiful late glow at the horizon, over the ocean. But the big apartment was locked and empty. For François in America […]
Nicky was going with Doll by then and got to experience the house first-hand. The atmosphere was that of a continuous, continuously improvised party that periodically doldrums and never ended, contending playlists emanating from different rooms, a standing bank of smoke shimmering in seeming permanence in the sitting room, pin-eyed young ones rattling on the […]
Gulliver had come down first to breakfast and had eaten a boiled egg. Duncan had eaten fried eggs and bacon collecting them from the hot-plate on the sideboard. Gulliver now blamed himself for having bothered Annushka to get him a boiled egg. He would have liked eggs and bacon better, he now decided. However he […]
When I think about the phases of my life, it is as a series of rooms behind me, each with a door to a previous room left open, behind which is another room, and another and another. The rooms are not quite empty, not exactly dark, but they are shadowy, with indistinct shapes, and I […]
”Tonight was lovely,” Eva said.”Mm,” Isabel said, washing her hands.”I really have been wanting to meet you, you know. You most of all. Louis has told me so much. You live in the old family home, right? In the house where you three grew–””I didn’t invite you here tonight.”Eva was caught in a breath, mouth […]
It is, of course, impossible to be certain of what is contained in anyone’s chest, least of all one’s own or those we know well, perhaps especially those we know best, but, as I stand here on the upper level of King’s Cross Station, from where I can monitor my old friend Hosam Zowa walking […]
You will wonder about the name Victoria once you find out your real mother named you that while she was dying and birthing you. Wonder if she was saying the word Victory! out loud at some unknown triumph, perhaps the sound of you crying as you came out, that you came out alive, that she […]
”I want to know all about everything,” he said.”I’ll tell you anything you ask,” she answered. ”But you must promise to like it,” she added, smiling.”Why? Why shouldn’t I like it?” he asked quickly, his face changing. ”You’re not–you’re not going to be married?””Oh–don’t be silly. There. I’m ready. Shall we go down?””I suppose you […]
Not that this inward amazement of Dorothea’s was anything very exceptional: many souls in their young nudity are tumbled out among incongruities and left to ‘find their feet’ among them, while their elders go about their business. Nor can I suppose that when Mrs. Casaubon is discovered in a fit of weeping six weeks after […]
One morning Duncan’s silence had a new quality. He seemed to be waiting for someone to speak, and at last spoke himself.’Does anyone notice a difference in the room?’’The portrait of Aunt Ellen is over the sideboard. I saw it when I came in.’’Then why did you not speak of it?’’I don’t know, Uncle. No […]
If I had my life over again I should form the habit of nightly composing myself to thoughts of death. I would practise, as it were, the remembrance of death. There is no other practise which so intensifies life. Death, when it approaches, ought not to take one by surprise. It should be part of […]
When I was about four I can remember a rather dreadful thing happening, it was very early in the morning and for some reason I had been put to sleep in the same bed as Granny, but I woke up and found she wasn’t in bed but walking up and down the room with her […]
What a blessing it is to love books. Everybody must love something, and I know of no objects of love that give substantial and unfailing returns as books and a garden. And how easy it would have been to come into the world without this, and possessed instead of an all-consuming passion, say, for hats, […]
The whale became stranded in the shallows of the island overnight, appearing from the water like a cat slinking under a door. No one noticed it: not the lighthouse with its halo of light on the water, or the night fishermen searching for whiting and sole, or the farmers moving cattle over the hill at […]
’So what is it about billionaires and survivalism?’ she’d asked him, the third or fourth time they met. ’Is it just an arms race? Like, just a pissing contest? Or do you all know something that we don’t?’’Both,’ he said, quite calmly. ’I mean, of course it’s a pissing contest. What isn’t?’she tried to think […]
What do those who struggle against power do when they seize power? What does the revolutionary do when the revolution triumphs? Why do those who call for independence and freedom take away the independence and freedom of others? And is it sane or insane to believe, as so many around us apparently do, in nothing? […]
”There’s one question I want to ask you”, he began.She looked up.”Just one?””If the phone rang in your garage on Long Island one morning, or one day, and it was me and I was in New York, or was even closer, and I had come to see you, what would you do?” Eilis appeared puzzled, […]
Shanghai was her world. The only nature she knew were its willows and man-made lakes, the only sky its milky-orange canopy. She’d been raised to the beats of its drills and swings of its cranes, to the glow of its neon lights and the density of its crowds. Here China converged, and toward China the […]
You must understand: There is no single day on which a war begins. The conflict will collect around you gradually, the way carrion birds assemble around the vulnerable, until there are so many predators that the object of their hunger is not even visible. You will not even be able to see yourself in the […]
’Raef. Listen to me. You go have to be a big boy and try to understand.’He nodded, although his interest was already drifting to the very pinkest of shells in the pile the others had collected.’Soon Mammy going in England.’ It was as though she said it every day, like saying it’s time for supper. […]
I look about me questioningly. The media are scribbling, Julian’s KC is talking to his instructing solicitor, making out it is nothing to him, that if the jury aren’t there, this doesn’t add anything. He’s right. I know I don’t have much time before he is on his feet again. So I speak up once […]
Nothing is more flattering to an artist than the illusion that he is a secret revolutionary. These public developments created a feeling among the cast that we were, in fact, preparing ourselves on a training base for an operation with a transcendental goal, that in combing our translated lines for subtext we were fighting the […]
Even though his mission was just your garden-variety nineteenth-century scientific expedition, at dinner with friends I often joke that my great-great-grandfather was a huaquero of international repute. Huaquero is not a euphemism. It’s how I refer to the looters who to this day remove cultural and artistic properties from archaeological sites. Huaqueros can range from […]
She recognized the puzzlement on my face and asked me where my gohyang was, probably in effort to help my understanding. ”I’m from Ulsan, Gyeongsang-do,” I told her. But I added that I didn’t feel much longing for Ulsan, that I didn’t even think about it very often. I had no desire to go back […]
Take the ivory Adam and Eve. There’s a profusion of symbolism embedded in the piece, augmenting a notable consistency of proportion and a fine balance of pose. Or so a museum tour guide would say, each word further walling off your chances of feeling any raw emotions at all. Now steal the carving, follow Breitwieser’s […]
I cannot get enough of Dutch art. You can turn to this other world – and it is a picture world as no other, a whole society visualised through time and place, seasons and generations, moment by – and live inside it in your thoughts. There is always more of it, and then inexhaustibly more. […]
I used to want desperately to be a ‘proper’ critic, to be taken seriously, to have full command of history and theory, but I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to ‘admire’ writing for its erudition. I want to be changed by it. I want to know what it’s like to be someone else. […]
When Mum told me about the monster blood and how it felt to stick a paring knife in the throat of her husband in order to save her life and mine, the words landed inside my head like breaking glass. I swear I felt a crack running across my brain, just like the crack in […]
Leon opens the door wide. They all look at him. Social workers have two pretend faces, pretend Happy and Pretend Sad. They’re not supposed to get angry so they make angry into sad. This time they’re pretending to care about him and Jake and his mum.”I want to get my things,” he says.They all look […]
Only when I was young did I believe that it was important to remember what happened in every novel I read. Now I know the truth: what matters is what you experience while reading, the states of feeling that the story evokes, the questions that rise to your mind, rather than the fictional events described. […]
I had expected that a tutor was a sort of vessel which would tip and empty its contents into my brain and I would be full of education. Instead, my tutor opened for me daily the Book of Life and bid me peruse where I would in pursuit, not so much of answers – for […]
Life, authentic life, is supposed to be all struggle, unflagging action and affirmation, the will butting its blunt head against the world’s wall, suchlike, but when I look back I see that the greater part of my energies was always given over to the simple search for shelter, for comfort, for, yes, I admit it, […]
The next morning Cordelia lay in bed while drowsy bluebottles struggled against the windowpanes. She watched the sudden, fast shadows of swallows who flew past her window in fleeting pairs subtracting light from her room and marvelled how living things could suspend themselves in midair. She imagined the last of the over-ripe fruit, the latecomers, […]
She started bringing it up with Jack, began wondering out loud whether they should consider having a child. And when he hesitated, she asked whether their reluctance to have a family was possibly a symptom of their own difficult childhoods, suggesting that maybe they were afraid of duplicating exactly the conditions that drove each of […]
It occurred to me that what I had transmitted to her, across four countries, was pain. We were all striding out into the world once again to infect and be infected by each other. If she was my double and I was hers, was it true that she was knowing, I was unknowing, she was […]
I continued to spend the long years since childhood cultivating solitude, pursuing silence to its ever-receding horizon, a pursuit that demanded a particular quality of attention, a self-forgetfulness on my part that would enable me to bring to bear the most painstaking, the most careful consideration to the other, to treat the other as the […]
Franklin’s Great Novel, begun after graduation, was an attempt to produce a ’fictional text’ based on chaos theory. He entitled it What If? ’I’m trying,’ he declared to anyone who would listen (not many), ’to re-create the fractal in fictive form – an endlessly bifurcating narrative, based not on making a choice but on making […]
She looks to the sky watching the rain as it falls through space and there is nothing to see in the ruined yard but the world insisting on itself, the cement’s sedate crumbling giving way to the rising sap beneath, and when the yard is past there will remain the world’s insistence, the world insisting […]
Before he became a father, he imagined the relationship as being like an intensive version of owning a pet. The child, he thought, was essentially a passive, a vessel into which you poured your love. On TV that’s how it looked. Children were silent, dormant; you went into their bedrooms, gazed down at them fondly, […]
Enough time goes by and it is as if old things never happened. Things once fresh, immediate, terrible, receding away into old God’s time, like the walkers walking so far along Killiney Strand that, as you watch them, there is a moment when they are only a black speck, and then they’re gone. Maybe old […]
It begins with What are you? hollered from the perimeter of your front yard when you’re nine — younger, probably. You’ll be asked again throughout junior high and high school, then out in the world, in strip clubs, in food courts, over the phone, and at various menial jobs. The askers are expectant. They demand immediate gratification. […]
I don’t know if you have ever stood in the middle of a squash court – on the T – and listened to what is going on next door. What I’m thinking of is the sound from the next court of a ball hit clean and hard. It’s a quick, low pistol-shot of a sound, […]
It’s the most unbearable time of day. My shirt sticks to my shoulders and I go off for a shower and rare privacy. The ice water unfastens my body in a travelling line, and my thoughts follow it. The power is a form of contact; that’s what I said to Uria. We activate it, we […]
My first experiences of school confirmed my suspicion that life was better at home, and if anyone asks me now, why were you home-schooled, I have taught myself to say, because my mother was really good at it. And, as it turned out, I didn’t have much time with her, so I am glad, now, […]
On this random Monday, just moments before his first day of secondary school,Jamie O’Neill knows:his mother’s liver enzymes elevated, and that a complex system overheated in her young body in those precious and devastating moments after giving birth to him –as was first determined in labour by her proteinuriaand he knows from his researchthat her […]
He was waiting for me by the Coromandel screen. I hesitated – it suddenly occurred to me what people might say: I was a white woman alone in another mans house, and not just any man, but a Chinaman. He looked across the length of the hall at me, and then, without uttering a word, […]
”Have I insulted you? Have I really got through? Well, listen to me, then. Listen while you’re conscious.” Hostility dawned at last. ”Don’t speak to me like that,” she blazed, and added ”please” with a trembling underlip. Her anger was not womanly, it was like a hurt little boy and its quality was as dangerously […]
That’s right; I am queer, from queer folk, queer stock. The very queerest. Here we are, stuck on an island, a hollow, a swamp, the desert, no sooner settled than banished again. You bet I’m queer. I’m no landlord nor lawyer, no duke nor lord of the looms. I’m no cap doffer, no knee bender, […]
Of course, now I know Vita’s little bird-heart, I remember those one-sided conversations differently. I see that my frequent muteness was a convenience to someone who was soft-feathered and sharp-eyed. And who sang away to herself in my presence, happily and without interruption, for she knew I had no song with which to call back. […]
She had never cared much for books, because they did not seem to be about her, and she thought that she would rather write a book herself, to a pattern of her own choosing and about a beautiful young girl with a startling white skin, heiress to great property, wearing white piqué at Osborne and […]
The past, were I to type it up, would look like a disaster, but regardless of how it ended we all had many good days. In that sense the past is much like the present because the present – this unparalleled disaster – is the happiest time of my life: Joe and I here on […]
The night was at her disposal. She might walk back to Great Mop and arrive very late; or she might sleep out and not trouble to arrive till to-morrow. Whichever she did Mrs Leak would not mind. That was one of the advantages of dealing with witches; they do not mind if you are a […]
Mr. Weston was now gone, and we too went on our way; but as we returned, after having deposited the hare in a farm-house, and demolished some spice-cake and currant-wine in exchange, we met him returning also from the execution of his mission, whatever it might be. He carried in his hand a cluster of […]
’Darling, now listen. You know about me being beautiful?’ ’You’re all right.’ ’No, Rudolph, please say I’m beautiful; it’s part of the thing.’ ’I suppose you’re going to tell me you’re a beautiful female spy?’ ’In a way, I was.’ ’Yes, I’m quite sure you were. And that you have a Chief, but you don’t […]
She could not endure this day’s being over. Fixedly lookin ahead, past the driver’s ears, she cast no backward glances; she could not bear to. Nor did she need to; the beautiful agonising mirage of the University was inescapable from. This was a forever she had no part in. The eternity was more real to […]
I have been much afflicted again lately by visitors – not stray callers to be got rid of after a due administration of tea and things you are sorry afterwards that you said, but people staying in the house and not to be got rid of at all. All June was lost to me in […]
For the first time since her arrival in the Middle East she felt all of a piece; Gentile and Jewess, Vaughan and Aaronson; she had caught some of Freddy’s madness, having recognized by his manner in the car, as they careered across Jerusalem, that he had regained some lost or forgotten element in his nature […]
Feeling rather guilty I walked among the trees of Regent’s Park and ended up at the Zoo. I often went there to draw the animals, only this time I hardly saw them. They were just vague smells and noises, and I was surprised to find myself in the parrot house surrounded by lonely birds all […]
I do not know how many afternoons I lay on my bed listening to a litany of tennis noises from where my two brothers played on the court a little to the right below my window. Sometimes, to tell me it was time to get up, my elder brother Richard would send a tennis ball […]
She could not have said exactly when she had become aware of how often their neighbour Blanche Silcox’s name occurred in Evelyn’s conversation as that of a woman immensely knowledgeable on rural topics, whose opinions on the ethics of tied cottages, drainage and poultry-keeping for profit called forth respectful agreement. To all such topics Imogen […]
She knew she was valued for being a good hunter, but what Ea craved was to be normal. To spin like everyone else was the key to fitting in, and if she could only hear the music of the ocean like everyone else, she too would be able to tune in and do it. She […]
I’m wondering if you still think of her as a monster. I suppose it depends on what you think that word means. Monsters are, what? Ugly? Terrifying? Gorgons are both these things, certainly, although Medusa wasn’t always. Can a monster be beautiful if it is still terrifying? Perhaps it depends on how you experience fear […]
”The moms I knew when I was little didn’t have to prove that it was okay to want a child. Sure, a lot of women I know wonder if they do want a child, but not why. It’s assumed why. The question cis women get asked is: Why don’t you want kids? And then they […]
Colette was trying to develop a new way of looking at life, with more lightness, as if everything that seemed so substantial, like a school, or a home, or a marriage, was in fact only disposable and breakable. It was frightening, but also a relief. Phyllis used to joke about how Anne and her husband […]
I met my move quick-time, slip into the mass of closed-eyed skankers, sucked into the slipstream of rippling spines. Try to get as close as I can to the decks, watch the MC, see how he handles the mic and the controls. We’re dancing in darkness, skinning up with the dead. I feel them twisting […]
Michael lit a cigarette and smoked it in silence. The others spoke haltingly, in sentences with atrocious syntax, accents so off she hardly recognised some words, but they went on. Aside from the obvious one, this was the real difference between them. They had the confidence to be foolish, to be wrong. She asked Michael […]
Amy spends hours studying Russian in their room with the door closed. Her favorite letter in the Cyrillic alphabet is ж, which looks like a butterfly and sounds like the s in treasure, zh. Amy copies out all the words from her pocket dictionary that start with ж. Zoe is less diligent, preferring to play. […]
Mirsad stops to pluck something from Zora’s hair. He holds it between thumb and forefinger for her to see. ”These have been falling all over the city for days now, as far out as the airport and Ilidža. Do you know what people are calling them?””No.””Black butterflies,” he says softly. He peers at the scorched […]
Now the pitcher came, along with our glasses rimmed with salt. Burt poured, and soon we were clinking the glasses together and saying cheers, with the camaraderie of soldiers on the eve of battle. The margarita was great. I was glad Burt had recognized the necessity of it. He’d also ordered nachos and guacamole as […]
There’s a tradition in Vietnamese culture,’ he said. ‘They believe that you need to give your dead a proper burial in their hometown. If not, their souls are cursed to wander the earth aimlessly, as ghosts.’ He looked down at the bottom of his empty glass, his smile slowly fading from his face, a frown […]
It was then that I saw the business of writing for what it truly was and is to me. It is your penance for not being lucky. It is an attempt to reach others and to make them love you. It is your instinctive protest, when you find you have no voice at the world’s […]
Barbara Comyns (1909-1992) oli brittiläinen kirjailija, joka tunnetaan synkän humoristisista ja surrealistisista romaaneistaan, jotka usein käsittelevät työväenluokan naisten elämää. Comyns on nimenä tullut usein vastaan muiden brittikirjailijoiden yhteydessä ja olen pitkään halunnut tutustua hänen tuotantoonsa. Comynsin nimi nousi taas esiin tuoreeltaan, kun häntä suositeltiin minulle Twitterissa Elizabeth Taylor -juttuni yhteydessä. Yllättäen juuri samaan aikaan oli […]
Ẹniọlá shrugged; he was grateful for the food he had just eaten. The quantity of food available for dinner varied from day to day because his parents were still trying to pay off the landlord. In spite of his mother’s pleas, Ẹniọlá now refused to go begging again since none of the money would go […]
Maurice Hearn sits alone in the café bar at the ferry terminal. He turns the remains of a third brandy in its glass. You keep going any way you can. The motions of the alcohol are familiar: the easy warming, the calm sustain, and now the slow grading into remorse. A melancholy hour falleth. As […]
It went around the village quickly. No one really knew what to do or say. Still, Kit and Paddy were kept busy with the visitors those first few days. People climbed the lane up from the main road in twos and threes and walked the fields down from Jamestown and Bunnacree to sympathize and speculate […]
Maeve had sandbags in her belly. When shit had happened before, she’d only had to share streets with the other side. But that morning she’d be sharing the air she breathed. And there was Aoife to think about. When she’d first moved to the town from the Free State, she’d been pure clueless. Maeve had […]
You’ve been wondering about your own relationship to open water. You’ve been wondering about the trauma and how it always finds its way to the surface, floating in the ocean. You’ve been wondering about how to protect that trauma from consumption. You’ve been wondering about departing, about being elsewhere. You have always thought if you […]
He was one of the various men Flora invited to the house whenever Meg was expected. She eagerly waited to hear Meg’s reactions, when next they met alone – sometimes in Meg’s lunch hour when Flora was shopping. If she could get Meg settled, Flora had decided, she herself would be quite happy, but her […]
”–and my point is, there’s always something. I think, as a species, we have a desire to believe that we’re living at the climax of the story. It’s a kind of narcissism. We want to believe that we’re uniquely important, that we’re living at the end of history, that now, after all these millennia of false […]
What’s an oxy, I’d asked. That November it was still a shiny new thing. OxyContin, God’s gift for the laid-off deep-hole man with his back and neck bones grinding like bags of gravel. For the bent-over lady pulling double shifts at Dollar General with her shot knees and ADHD grandkids to raise by herself. For […]
She will be found tomorrow morning dead from multiple stab-wounds, her wrists bound with a silk scarf and her ankles bound with a man’s necktie, in the grounds of an empty villa, in a park of the foreign city to which she is traveling on the flight now boarding at Gate 14. Crossing the tarmac […]
”The disappearance of God does not simply leave a void into which human reason can move. The death of God has set the angels free. And they are terrible.””The angels––?””There are principalities and powers. Angels are the thoughts of God. Now he had been dissolved into his thoughts which are beyond our conception in their […]
Broadcasting House was in fact dedicated to the strangest project of the war, or of any war, that is, telling the truth. Without prompting, the BBC had decided that truth was more important than consolation, and, in the long run, would be more effective. And yet there was no guarantee of this. Truth ensures trust, […]
Maybe it’s not, in the end, the virtues of others that so wrenches our hearts as it is the sense of almost unbearably poignant recognition when we see them at their most base, in their sorrow and gluttony and foolishness. You need the virtues, too—some sort of virtues—but we don’t care about Emma Bovary or […]
There are readings—of the same text—that are dutiful, readings that map and dissect, readings that hear a rustling of unheard sounds, that count grey little pronouns for pleasure or instruction and for a time do not hear golden or apples. There are personal readings, which snatch for personal meanings, I am full of love, or […]
You were born before Elvis had his first hit. And died before Freddie had his last. In the interim, you have shot thousands. You have photos of the government Minister who looked on while the savages of ’83 torched Tamil homes and slaughtered the occupants. You have portraits of disappeared journalists and vanished activists, bound […]
Once they reach the cast iron lamppost in the middle of the common, William turns to Martin. ’You’re disgusted with me for leaving Gloria, aren’t you?’ ’Not disgusted.’ Martin looks straight ahead. ’It just seems such an unnecessary mess, William. You’re surrounded by people who love you. Surrounded.’ ’It’s not easy being loved by people […]
He had never contemplated his own death. He was certain that the usual associations – dark, cold, silent, decay – were irrelevant. These could all be felt and understood. Death lay on the far side of darkness, beyond even nothing. Like all his friends he was dismissive of the afterlife. They sat through the compulsory […]
The edge is a shantytown filled with gold seekers. We are fugitives and the law is skinny with hunger for us. Kevin Wilson: Now Is Not the Time to Panic Kevin Wilsonin edellinen romaani Nothing to See Here kertoi liekkeihin leimahtavista sisaruksista. Uudessa romaanissa Now is Not the Time to Panic Coalfieldin pikkukaupungissa leimahtaa paniikki, […]
Viime vuosina olen rakastunut yhä syvemmin Iris Murdochin (1919-1999) teoksiin ja nyt teki mieli tutustua tarkemmin myös hänen elämäänsä. Tiesin, että Murdoch sairasti viimeisinä vuosinaan Alzheimeria, ja hänen romaanejaan lukiessa olen usein miettinyt, millaista mahtaa olla, kun tuollaisella äärimmäisen älykkäällä sanataiturilla katoaa yhteys muistoihin ja sanoihin. The Iris Trilogy kokoaa yhteen Murdochin aviomiehen John Bayleyn […]
Years ago in New York City I had taught at a community college and there was a man who taught there as well, he was much older than I was, and he retired soon after I got there. He was a nice man, with thick eyebrows, and he was quiet, though he seemed to like […]
It turned out that it was Ramsay Coker who was in charge over at the Sphinx. In Freda’s opinion, Ramsay Coker was a first-class twit. His head was always in the clouds. ’I’m writing a novel,’ he told her, as if that was something to crow about, as if there weren’t enough novels in the […]
I will admit that the murder of Bethany Waites was my idea.We were all looking through the files for a new Thursday Murder Club case. There was a spinster in Rye in the early eighties, for example, who had died, leaving three unidentified skeletons and a suitcase containing fifty thousand pounds in her cellar. That […]
Tholukuthi it took the first decade of the donkey’s married life for her, by patiently piecing together fragments of the Father of the Nation’s nightmares and sleep talk, sometimes including whole conversations, lectures, debates, arguments, pleas, confessions, musings, by paying special attention to the intimate talk of the Seat of Power and Inner Circle, to […]
‘Fair do’s. Treacle Walker?’ ‘Joseph Coppock.’ ‘What is it you want for you? What is it you want most? For you. Not some wazzock else.’ ‘Never has a soul asked that of me.’ ‘What’s the answer?’ Treacle Walker leaned his head against the timber behind him and looked up into the stack. ‘To hear no […]
Being here, and making history with this movie that we should have had a long time ago, was a product of more than my own personal struggles; it was also the culmination of everything my parents had fought for. Our stories are one and the same, our destinies forever intertwined and defined by our sweat, […]
Strut, fly, gallop. There are so many ways to walk a street, but none of them will make you bulletproof. I got back from Mama’s and found myself stuck between street and gutter, Trevor knocking on the door early Sunday morning saying Vern been by again telling them they out if they don’t pay in […]
An obsession, a mania, Lib supposed it could be called. A sickness of the mind. Hysteria, as that awful doctor had named it? Anna reminded Lib of a princess under a spell in a fairy tale. What could restore the girl to ordinary life? Not a prince. A magical herb from the world’s end? Some […]
“Everybody talks about genocides around the world, but when the killing is slow and spread over a hundred years, no one notices. Where there are no mass graves, no one notices. American outrage is always for show. It has a shelf life. If that Griffin book had been Lynched Like Me, America might have looked […]
When Lia came to, Anne was perching next to a bed that was not her bed, in a room that was not her room. Her mother’s large planet-black eyes tapped shut every few seconds. She twitched curiously the way birds do when studying their very first hatching, their first glistening object of great and undivided […]
Yusuf’s new teacher wasted no time in putting him right on a number of matters. The day began at dawn and did not finish until Khalil said so. Nightmares and crying in the night were stupid so they were to have no more of that. Someone might think he was bewitched and have him sent […]
No one needs a relationship. What you need is the basic cop-on to figure that out, in the face of all the media bullshit screaming that you’re nothing on your own and you’re a dangerous freak if you disagree. The truth is, if you don’t exist without someone else, you don’t exist at all. And […]
Tory Foyle unwound the black chenille scarf from her hair. She was what was once held to be the typical English Beauty, her pink face, bright hair and really violet eyes. ’I had a letter from Edward.’ She took a small piece of lined paper from her pocket and smoothed it. Beth poured tea and […]
How light and tall he almost felt walking along with this girl at his side and some fresh, new, unrecognisable joy in his heart. Was it possible that the best bit of him was shining forth, and surfacing? Some part of him, whatever it could be called – was there any name for it? – […]
self-portrait: at sea I’d like you to sing, he said. We don’t sing, Mr Lloyd. But I need something to focus on. Counting or singing. Not in this boat. I read in a book that you people always sing while rowing. Not a very good book then, is it, Mr Lloyd? I came here because […]
She hears all the voices from when she was little, soothing, strengthening: Don’t be scared, not of monsters, not of witches, not of big dogs. And now, snapping loud from every direction: Be scared, you have to be scared, ordering like this is your one absolute duty. Be scared you’re fat, be scared your boobs […]
On taas klassikkohaasteen aika. Olen ollut mukana osasta neljä lähtien, joten tämä on jo yhdestoista kerta. Klassikoita tulee luettua myös haasteen ulkopuolella, joten kovin haastavalta tämä kaksi postausta vuodessa ei tunnu. Tällä kertaa valitsin klassikkokirjailijaksi Henry Jamesin (1843-1916), jota en ole aiemmin lukenut. Häneen viitataan usein muissa kirjoissa, joita kesäisin luen, joten oli aika tutustua. […]
The smell of the sea swept over the wall and in through the empty window-hole, wide and wild with a million intoxicating secrets. I don’t trust that smell. It hooks us somewhere deeper than reason or civilization, in the fragments of our cells that rocked in oceans before we had minds, and it pulls till […]
The summer stretch had come into the evenings: it was gone seven, but the sky was a soft clear blue and the light flooding through the open windows was pale gold. All around us the Place was humming like a beehive, shimmering with a hundred different stories unfurling. Next door Mad Johnny Malone was singing […]
I saw her to the front door and closed it immediately after her as soon as she had stepped outside it. I went back into the flat, into the sitting-room, and closed the door. The room was sweet with heavy dusty sunlight. Her chair was where it had been. She had left her copy of […]
Cassandra started from her pleasant day-dreams and realized that she was the old lady. There was something pleasing about the idea of being really old – say between seventy and eighty, but not infirm or a nuisance to anybody. To have money and leisure to sit in a lovely garden, enjoying the sunshine and doing […]
It was hard to believe that Dolly Arborfield was Kitty Jeffreys’ sister, though one could detect a slight resemblance in features. Dolly’s hair was grey and frizzy and she wore clothes that melted into her background of old books, junk and animals. She was some years older than Kitty and would often joke about her […]
’I don’t know if if we could have a curate here,’ said Mr Cleveland doubtfully, as if it were some strange kind of animal. ’As a matter of fact I was thinking that perhaps, that is just perhaps, Miss Doggett might like to have him,’ said the vicar, bringing out the words with a rush. […]
Lady Asperley, at whose home years ago Kate and Alan had first met Dermot, had been lukewarm about a marriage – disastrous as she believed it must be – for which she held herself responsible. She had known Dermot was a drifter, but his voice reminded her of his father’s – a man she had […]
Polly was now dancing with her uncle, Boy. She did not look radiant and happy as such a spoilt darling should at her coming-out ball, but tired and pinched about the mouth, nor was she chattering away like the other women. ’I shouldn’t care for one of my girls to look like that,’ Aunt Sadie […]
Soon it was almost too dark to see. The birds could still be vaguely apprehended, close overhead, like great leaves that fluttered but never fell, until at last they disappeared, gathered up into the obscurity of the coming night. Michael began to pace slowly back down the middle of the avenue. He did not turn […]
”Look, Cathleen, will you give up the nonsense? We’re eighteen and we’re bored to death.” She lit a cigarette and puffed vigorously. She went on: ”We want to live. Drink gin. Squeeze into the front of big cars and drive up outside big hotels. We want to go places. Not to sit in this damp […]
This is the one thing I hope: that she never stopped. I hope when her body couldn’t run any farther she left it behind like everything else that tried to hold her down, she floored the pedal and she went like wildfire, streamed down night freeways with both hands off the wheel and her head […]
In the 1940s, Arthur Sackler had watched the introduction of Thorazine. It was a “major” tranquilizer that worked wonders on patients who were psychotic. But the way the Sackler family made its first great fortune was with Arthur’s involvement in marketing the “minor” tranquilizers Librium and Valium. Thorazine was perceived as a heavy-duty solution for […]
According to one scholar, the “ideal victim” in the Troubles was someone who was not a combatant, but a passive civilian. To many, Jean McConville was the perfect victim: a widow, a mother of ten. To others, she was not a victim at all, but a combatant by proxy, who courted her own fate. Of […]
Out of absolutely nowhere I felt a sudden, sweet shot of joy, piercing and distilled as the jolt I imagine heroin users get when the fix hits the vein. It was my partner bracing herself on her hands as she slid fluidly off the desk, it was the neat practiced movement of flipping my notebook […]
To be alive means full body contact with the absurd. Still, we can be happy. Even poor old Sisyphus could figure that much out. And that’s saying something. You might say that God is an absurd concept but faith in God’s goodness … I find joy in that. I find it inspiring. Oba! I’m rambling. […]
Mungo raised his hand to wave up at the window but Mo-Maw glowered down at him. He must have seen her face harden, or perhaps he thought waving was childish, because he aborted the gesture and grasped a fistful of air, which made him seem like a drowning man. In his baggy shorts and his […]
What Slavoj said was this: People are born from the womb of the world with different sensitivities, and the world needs every single one of you to experience it fully, so that it might be fully experienced. If even one person were left out, the world would be diminished. And he said you don’t have […]
Why did her family think pachinko was so terrible? Her father, a traveling salesman, had sold expensive life insurance policies to isolated housewives who couldn’t afford them, and Mozasu created spaces where grown men and women could play pinball for money. Both men had made money from chance and fear and loneliness. Every morning, Mozasu […]
Before I can start writing a novel, I have to know how it ends. I have to know where I’m going, otherwise I spend my days walking in circles. Not everyone is like this. I’ve heard writers say that they write in order to discover how the story ends, and if they knew the ending […]
As they told their swaggering stories and marched across the rain-shadow plains of the great mountain, they did not know that they were to spend years fighting across swamps and mountains and forests and grasslands, in heavy rain and drought, slaughtering and being slaughtered by armies of people they knew nothing about: Punjabis and Sikhs, […]
It was unreal to have your city turned inside and out. He felt unreal those days of the riots when his streets were made strange by violence. Despite what America saw on the news, only a fraction of the community had picked up bricks and bats and kerosene. The devastation had been nothing compared to […]
As I cycled past the rows of identical houses, I thought to myself again how much like nests they looked. They resembled a huge cocoon that Yuu and I had once found in the Akishina mountains. My town was a collection of nests, a factory for manufacturing babies. I was a tool for the town’s […]
Mom said everything was for my sake, calling it love. But to me, it seemed more like we were doing this out of her own desperation not to have a child that was different. Love, according to Mom’s actions, was nothing more than nagging about every little thing, with teary eyes, about how one should […]
The best thing is when a customer comes back and praises the book you recommended. I can’t get enough of that. Boy: I saved my lawn-mowing money to buy this book. Me: I had no idea that kids still did this. Boy: Kids still pull up the couch cushions too. For change. See? He held […]
Now she feels like an off-key note in the musical score of the universe. The point is not to play all the notes correctly, Rakel. The point is to impart the universe’s symphony. You were born to be expanded, just as the universe is expanding. Ever since you were born, you have been growing. At […]
After Julius’s departure Rupert sat for a long time thinking about what had been said. Was Julius wholly serious, half serious, or not serious at all? It was very hard to say and perhaps Julius himself did not really know. Rupert looked over at the pile of yellow notebooks, their neat order destroyed by Julius’s […]
Everybody said that there was a sex maniac loose in the complex and I thought—it’s about time. It had been a long asexual winter. The steam heat seemed to dry all of the body’s moistures and shrivel the fantasies of the mind. From the nineteenth floor of a building A, I watched snow fall on […]
St Valentine’s Book of Rhetoric, give me a precise and elegant metaphor to describe what those eyes of Capitu were like. How can I describe, without abandoning the dignity of classical style, what they were and what they did to me? Perhaps they were undertow eyes. Yes, undertow. That’s what they suggested to me. They […]
Woooooooo- hooooooo what a fall what a soar what a plummet what a dash into dark into light what a plunge what a glide thud crash what a drop what a rush what a swoop what a fright what a mad hushed skirl what a smash mush mash-up broken and gashed what a heart in […]
This morning’s group exercise involves scented sachets, distributed during the circle. Another doctor, no name, mimics Dr. Sloane’s even tone. Each sachet smells different, she explains, specifically designed to activate a patient’s essential memories, so they are advised to hold theirs close. Not to share. These are scents found outside. Baby steps, to their return. […]
My father had left the study light on and the book open and face down on his desk. I went in and picked it up but couldn’t find the bit he had read. Trying to wedge it into a non-existent space on his shelves, I thought of him saying once – the summer I spent […]
’I am consumed by a desire to see your house,’ Amy read. ’Laurel House, Laurel Walk sounds so English.’ Martha’s spidery, American hand-writing. Ernie, bringing in a pot of coffee, asked, ’Everything all right, madam?’ His new teeth clicked badly. If they were to do it for ever, she felt that she could not bear […]
We can pull atoms apart, peer back at the first light and predict the end of the universe with just a handful of equations, squiggly lines and arcane symbols that normal people cannot fathom, even though they hold sway over their lives. But it’s not just regular folks; even scientists no longer comprehend the world. […]
And then he’s gone. She can hear him walking away up the passage. His footsteps sound hesitant, but he doesn’t turn back. Nor will the moment return, which is true of all moments, though not equally. Alone in Pa’s study, what the room will always be to her, she lies down and closes her eyes […]
This is a female text, composed by folding someone else’s clothes. My mind holds it close, and it grows, tender and slow, while my hands perform innumerable chores. This is a female text, born of guilt and desire, stitched to a soundtrack of nursery rhymes. Doireann Ní Ghríofa: A Ghost in the Throat Äänikirjapalvelun algoritmit […]
Daylight was appearing over London, the great city of bachelors. Half-pint bottles of milk began to be stood on the doorsteps of houses containing single apartments from Hampstead Heath to Greenwich Park, and from Wanstead Flats to Putney Heath; but especially in Hampstead, especially in Kensington. In Queen’s Gate, Kensington, in Harrington Road, The Boltons, […]
Riding over the bridge – in the back of my own taxi that evening – I suddenly remembered times early in our marriage in our Village apartment when I had felt terrible. It was about my parents, and the feeling that I had left them behind – as I had – and I would sometimes […]
Probably the question I am asked more often than any other is: Do you honestly believe there is hope for our world? For the future of our children and grandchildren? And I am able to answer truthfully, yes. I believe we still have a window of time during which we can start healing the harm […]
She’d thought, I’ll do this first and think about it afterward. Now afterward had come and she had no idea what to think. I am baptized, I am married, I am Lila Dahl, and Lila Ames. I don’t know what else I should want. Except for the shame to be gone, and it ain’t. I’m […]
Elfrieda has a fresh cut just above her left eyebrow. There are seven stitches holding her forehead together. The stitches are black and stiff and the ends poke out of her head like little antennae. I asked her how she got that cut and she told me that she fell in the washroom. Who knows […]
Ee-ee? Ee-ee-eet? Every hair on Seymour’s arms stands up straight. The owl is so well camouflaged that it vocalizes three more times before the boy sets eyes on it, and when he does he gasps. It blinks three times, four. In the shadow against the bark, with its eyelids closed, the owl vanishes. Then the […]
On rough nights when Robin retreated to my bed, he wanted to be on the side farthest from the endless terrors outside the window. (His mother had always wanted the safe side, too.) He daydreamed, had trouble with deadlines, and yes, he refused to focus on things that didn’t interest him. But he never fidgeted […]
I do wish something exciting would happen again. I don’t mind what.Perhaps a fire, but where no one gets hurt? Just flames and fire engines. We can all stand around watching, with flasks, and Ron can shout advice to the firefighters. Or an affair, that would be fun. Preferably mine, but I’m not greedy, so […]
He could see the leafless thickets of brush rushing past in the foreground before him, the white-hot horizon melting into the cloudless sky in the background, could feel the thin steel floor vibrating beneath his feet and his shirt billowing in the wind, but standing there leaning out through the door of the train, knowing […]
’It’s not a secret,’ said Leopold haughtily.’Oh, Miss Fisher said it was.’’Did she tell you not to ask me things?’’How do you mean?’ she said, flustered.Leopold smiled to himself. ’She told me not to answer, whatever you said. She hopes I won’t say anything.’’Then ought you to?’ said Henrietta, reproving.’I don’t have to be obedient […]
I’m sure Michk’ heard the quick tap of the woman’s fingers on her keyboard. ’I have the name of a Miss Marie Chapier. Shall I call her?’’I don’t know…’’Is she your daughter?’’No.’’Do you want me to call her?’’Yes, please. Tell her I didn’t want to … truffle her, but it’s because I’m losing something, something […]
Following the meal, the group usually moved to the small Tapestry Room to discuss the latest news: the bombing of Pearl Harbor, Virginia Woolf’s suicide, Nancy’s brother-in-law who was missing in action. After thoroughly covering the topics of the day, they’d turn to savagely reviewing books and friends. The nights ended with Eddy and Helen […]
Boud and I both avoided the company of the Grown-Ups at this time as much as we could. At Swinbrook, we lived in the DFD except for meal-times. We divided it down the middle, and Boud decorated her side with Fascist insignia of all kinds – the Italian ’fasces’, a bundle of sticks bound with […]
”It is a foolish theory that a man should not give his life to teaching girls,” said Josephine. ”A woman would not be ashamed of teaching boys; and the two things are just the same.” ”They may be said to be the opposite of each other,” said Simon. ”But I am of your mind, my […]
When they returned to town, Margaret fulfilled one of her sea-side resolves, and took her life into her own hands. Before they went to Cromer, she had been as docile to her aunt’s laws as if she were still the scared little stranger who cried herself to sleep that first night in Harley Street nursery. […]
How to announce the return of comfort and well-being except by cooking something fragrant. That is what her mother always did. After every calamity of any significance she would fill the atmosphere of the house with the smell of cinnamon rolls or brownies, or with chicken and dumplings, and it would mean, This house has […]
We had never learnt to dance, and, for some reason, we had supposed it to be a thing which everybody could do quite easily and naturally. I think Linda realized there and then what it took me years to learn, that the behavior of civilized man really has nothing to do with nature, that all […]
Molly is the gravedigger girl. She’s heard people in town call her that. Poor little gravedigger girl. Mad little gravedigger girl. She leans on her shovel. It has a wooden handle as long as she is tall, with a wide dirt-stained sheet-steel blade with teeth on its sides for root cutting. Molly has given the […]
As I lay there, listening to the soft slap of the sea, and thinking these sad and strange thoughts, more and more and more stars had gathered, obliterating the separateness of the Milky Way and filling up the whole sky. And far far away in that ocean of gold, stars were silently shooting and falling […]
That ring at the door that I loved so much would bring, in the afternoon, my mother’s friends or, on rare occasions, my married aunts. In the evening a much more exciting variety of family friends rang the bell, many of them fairly eccentric, in whom I took a deep interest. Only a few months […]
”[…] Cecil All over again. He daren’t let a woman decide. He’s the type who’s kept Europe back for a thousand years. Every moment of his life he’s forming you, telling you what’s charming or amusing or ladylike, telling you what a man thinks womanly; and you, you of all women, listen to his voice […]
And for two hours the wine was poured, the cheese cut, and the two men talked. Of what? Who knows? Of love, of war, of the past. And they listened with hearts instead of ears, and in the candle-lit kitchen three floors up in an old palazzo, death was put on hold. Sarah Winman: Still […]
He was taken to the Pensione Sofia through the sunny waters of palaces, domes and ferries. It was his first visit to Venice and he was young; but he had only half a mind to feel enchanted, the other half being still occupied with a personal anxiety in Paris from where he had just come. […]
’Reading, were you?’ Rupert picked up the book which lay one the little table by the fire. It turned out to be the poems of Tennyson, bound in green morocco. Could she really have been reading that? he wondered, looking around for the novel stuffed behind a cushion.’Yes, but I was just going to make […]
Desmond did not come. The sweater Mrs Palfrey was knitting for him neared completion, and everyone knew that he had not come to claim it. Saving face had been an important part of life in the Far East, and Mrs Palfrey tried to save hers now. Trouble usually comes from doing so, and it came […]
Dark had so gained the trees that Lois, turning back from the window, was surprised at how light the room was. Day still coming in from the fields by the south windows was stored in the mirrors, in the sheen of the wallpaper, so that the room still shone. Mr. Montmorency had come in and […]
All down the stone steps on either side were periwinkles in full flower, and she could now see what it was that had caught at her the night before and brushed, wet and scented, across her face. It was wistaria. Wistaria and sunshine . . . she remembered the advertisement. Here indeed were both in profusion. The […]
There was a general air of relief to be safely back indoors, for the party to begin ’properly’. A quick glance round the room told Emma that it was not a very interesting gathering, or at least it did not look to be, for most of the people standing round, clutching glasses of sherry or […]
Pym found Oxford ’intoxicating’. In no small part this was because she suddenly found herself the centre of male attention and, like many girls from single-sex schools, she was ready to enjoy being in the company of young men. As with her heroine, Miss Bates, in her third published novel Jane and Prudence, the male […]
They shouldn’t have split up like that, in any case. Doc was always saying he knew this place like the back of his hand but they were still literally in the middle of nowhere. Going off for a photo opportunity had seemed suboptimal. Luke had thought it was a bad idea as soon as Doc […]
She, like all mothers, constantly casts out her thoughts, like fishing lines, towards her children, reminding herself of where they are, what they are doing, how they fare. From habit, while she sits there near the fireplace, some part of her mind is tabulating them and their whereabouts: Judith, upstairs. Susanna, next door. And Hamnet? […]
The desk in my Helsinki hotel room had a thin phone book in its top drawer. Finland was so small that every listing fit into the same volume, the numbers organized by town. I flipped to the town of Inari and scanned the names until I got to ”Valkeapää”. He was listed. I shut the […]
Jeanie rounds up the chickens early and sits beside Dot’s grave to eat a sandwich she made at Bridget’s. Already the earth mound is green with a forest of seedling weeds and the area is visible only if you know to look for it. She feels as though she should apologize to Dot for making […]
I used to spend my coffee-break and my tea-time with Connie, sometimes in her office, sometimes in mine. My job was to collect from her those few new manuscripts that had a faint possibility of being shaped into a book for publication, or whose authors should perhaps be nurtured. It was a very tentative affair, […]
Dear Editor,I was interested to read your article ’Men No Longer Needed for Reproduction’ in last week’s paper. I have always believed my own daughter (now ten) to have been born without the involvement of any man. If you would like to know more information you may write to me at the above address. The […]
”I don’t know if I ever liked you,” I say, and bathroom acoustics being what they are, the declaration is magnified and that much more unkind, which makes me feel bad until I see that he is missing a shoe, and I feel it anew, this terrible disappointment in myself that I am happy to […]
No, I’d open a refuge for mothers. A retreat. Concrete 1970s brutalism, an anti-domestic architecture without flounces. Something low with big windows and wide corridors, carpets to deaden sound. There will be five or six rooms off the corridor, each with a wall of glass and sliding doors looking on to a cold, grey beach. […]
Mauro was the one who put it in her head that Bogotá was just another pueblo masquerading as a metropolis and there was more to discover. In their mountains and hungry valleys, they were all descendants of massacred Indigenous Peoples, their violated foremothers. They could hate the conquistadores for what they stole, but they couldn’t […]
’Klara, do you think once we’re in the window, we’ll receive so much goodness we’ll never get short again?’ I was still quite new then, so didn’t know how to answer, even though the same question had been in my mind. Then our turn finally came, and Rosa and I stepped into the window one […]
We are thirteen, almost fourteen, and these streets of Sea Cliff are ours. We walk these streets to our school perched high over the Pacific and we run these streets to the beaches, which are cold, windswept, full of fishermen and freaks. We know these wide streets and how they slope, how they curve toward […]
I wanted to go on sitting there, not talking, not listening to the others, keeping the moment precious for all time, because we were peaceful all of us, we were content and drowsy even as the bee who droned above our heads. In a little while it would be different, there would come tomorrow, and […]
As I walked, I was thinking about the Great and Secret Knowledge, which the Other says will grant us strange new powers. And I realised something. I realised that I no longer believed in it. Or perhaps that is not quite accurate. I thought it was possible that the Knowledge existed. Equally I thought that […]
This was how you did it, how you raised children. You built them a house that was impervious to danger and then you gave them every single thing that they could ever want, no matter how impossible. You read to them at night. Why couldn’t people figure this out? And then I realized they were […]
Almost one year ago I was coming to Mr. Debnath’s house for the first time. He was asking to take my interview in the street. Because – he was saying, this was his explanation – the house was being painted, so there was nowhere to sit.Rubbish. Where were the painters, the rags, the buckets, the […]
She was beginning to realize what she would soon know for sure: there was no plan to go back home or to go anywhere else, even, and her mother was lying each time she pretended that there was. The next day, she was sitting alone during lunch when Louisa cornered her, flanked by three beige […]
My theme is memory, that winged host that soared about me one grey morning of wartime. These memories, which are my life—for we possess nothing certainly except the past—were always with me. Like the pigeons of St. Mark’s, they were everywhere, under my feet, singly, in pairs, in little honey-voiced congregations, nodding, strutting, winking, rolling […]
He left the station yard at a run and began to run along the road towards the school. It was a long way. The hot sun struck him on the brow with repeated blows, and the warm air refused to refresh his lungs. He ran on, panting and gasping. He must get to his bicycle, […]
The pizza arrived startlingly fast, seared with black from the wood fired oven. It smelled so good, Noah somewhat regretted ordering the fish.Michael glowered. ”I knew there’d be goddamn margherita.””Those are just basil leaves, for a garnish.” Noah lifted one off with his fork.”I don’t eat fucking garnish.” Michael gouged them out and flicked them […]
Caroline was quickly asleep. And even as she slept, she felt herself appreciating her sleep; told herself, this was the best sleep she had had for six months. She told herself to sleep on, for she would wake up presently, and then she would mean business. At this point in the narrative, it might be […]
Despite the awful weather, the decks were packed. As the ship slid free, the band on the jetty struck up with a round of ’Rule Britannia’, and passengers hurled down hundreds of thousands of streamers that filled the dock in a giant web, while Enid whooped and blew kisses, though presumably not to anyone she […]
Mrs. Lee-Mittison brought their Continental Daily Mail down to the lounge with her and sat on it. She did not wish to read it herself, but did not dare to put it down beside her because she knew that someone would come up and ask just to glance at it – people so soon lose […]
From the road, the bindery looked as if it was burning. The sun was setting behind us, and the red-gold blaze of the last sunlight was reflected in the windows. Under the dark thatch every pane was like a rectangle of flame, too steady to be fire but so bright I thought I could feel […]
It was a relief to return to normal life again and to get through New Year’s Eve, with its feeling of sadness. The days began to lengthen and the first signs of spring appeared. In the meantime social life had started up again, by which Leonora meant her ’new’ social life with Humphrey and James. […]
The Great House had been built by robber barons in the nineteenth century, a palatial retreat for the green months. Our parents, those so-called figures of authority, roamed its rooms in vague circuits beneath the broad beams, their objective murky. And of no general interest.They liked to drink: it was their hobby, or—said one of […]
In the world I notice persons are nearly always stressed and have no time. Even Grandma often says that, but she and Steppa don’t have jobs, so I don’t know how persons with jobs do the jobs and all the living as well. In Room me and Ma had time for everything. I guess the […]
No one understood. How could they? Even Ellen struggled with it. She knew that this drama wasn’t about her and yet she could feel her life slipping away, all her assumptions about who she was and what people thought of her upended through no fault of her own. She accepted she had no right to […]
Elizabeth had formed the Thursday Murder Club with Penny. Penny had been an inspector in the Kent Police for many years, and she would bring along the files of unsolved murder cases. She wasn’t really supposed to have the files, but who was to know? After a certain age, you can pretty much do whatever […]
And so, with a slow sweep of the arm that remained forever etched in my memory, he took out a match, lit it, and tossed it onto the pile of books. With a quiet huff…ff…ff the flames rippled over the pages, catching first the old books with the brown paper whose smell I loved so […]
Doctor Lynn peered into the abdominal cavity, which was pulpy with dark juice. She dictated: Liver swollen, signs of internal bleeding. Kidney inflamed and oozing. Colon ulcerated. I followed her scalpel with my own, taking samples. She murmured, We could always blame the stars. I beg your pardon, Doctor? That’s what influenza means: influenza delle stelle–the influence of […]
In India, individual shame did not exist. Humiliation spread, as easily as oil on wax paper, to the entire family, even to distant cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews. The rumormongers made sure of that. Blame lay heavily in my chest. Had I not deserted my marriage, Radha would not have suffered so much, and […]
The day was bright again, as if England had forgotten how to rain. The bracken is always the first to turn, bronze already coming through at midsummer, but it was still a steadfast deep green. It seemed as if all the flowers were out at once, purple and yellow vetch, foxgloves, of course the heather […]
Hirai looked into Kazu’s eyes and gave a firm, definite nod. Kazu put the coffee in front of Hirai. She picked up the silver kettle from the tray with her right hand and looked at Hirai from underneath her lowered brow. This was the ceremony. The ceremony did not change, no matter who was sitting […]
’Mandy.’ He reached out and held her hand. ’You’ll make a great mom, you know.’ She moved her thumb back and forth across the palm of his hand and kept her mouth shut. He didn’t know. He could hope, was all. If she turned out to be anything like her own mother, she’d be a […]
In the second silence all heads turn toward Martin. He speaks of satellites in orbit that are able to see everything. The street where we live, the building we work in, the socks we are wearing. A rain of asteroids. The sky thick with them. Could happen anytime. Asteroids that become meteorites as they approach […]
With hope being my guiding light, I journeyed on. Sometimes when I allowed myself a good sleep, I’d go into a village and ask people to let us stay the night. I paid for it. There were plenty of thieves around, but many country people opened their doors to us. We slept on dirt floors, […]
Edith, in her veal-colored room in the Hotel du Lac, sat with her hands in her lap, wondering what she was doing there. And then remembered, and trembled. And thought with shame of her small injustices, of her unworthy thoughts towards those excellent women who had befriended her, and to whom she had revealed nothing. […]
Dawn. There’s no sunrise, no birdsong. Light seeps over the water, through the branches. The sky is lying on the loch, filling the trees, heavy in the spaces between the pine needles, settling between blades of grass and mottling the pebbles on the beach. Although there’s no distance between cloud and land, nowhere for rain […]
”Definitely Mom isn’t herself. Daddy would scarcely recognize her. He’d had made her color her hair. He wouldn’t have wanted a wife that look her age. He’d be just sickened by this Hugo, looking like Che Guevara. Daddy hated communists. If we were a mafia family, we’d know what to do. We wouldn’t be wringing […]
This is how the ambush begins: with the slow rise of a monarch’s shadow from a tall mountain peak. With the emperor’s faint image caught in the whir and snap of a camera, reflected in the glint of a lens to ricochet against fog and hill. As Kidane’s army, new recruits and seasoned fighters, prepares […]
Glen was the one who knew about the study, putting people in the Wilderness State. When things worsened in the City and Agnes’s health cratered, like so many children’s had, Glen was the one who offered his help to the researchers in exchange for three spots – for him, Bea, and Agnes. Bea’s hunch had […]
Letty and Marcia began a more leisurely tidying up. They did not speak of or break into gossip about the two men, who were accepted as part of the office furniture and not considered worthy of comment unless they did something surprisingly out of character. Outside, the pigeons on the roof were picking at each […]
Where there are no trees, the earth is an ochre yellow, scored with deep zigzag lines, quite a picture, and the young curled leaves are starting to sprout on the tips of the branches. In the night, when I lie awake, I see sky. A vast violet expanse of sky, a land of beauty that […]
Today language abandoned me. I could not find the word for a simple object – a commonplace familiar furnishing. For an instant, I stared into a void. Language tethers us to the world; without it we spin like atoms. Later, I made an inventory of the room – a naming of parts: bed, chair, table, […]
At this point perhaps I should say a word about myself. My name is James Donaghue, but you needn’t bother about that, as I was in Dublin only once, on a whiskey blind, and saw daylight only twice, when they let me out of Store Street police station, and then Finn put me on the […]
Oliver Davenant did not merely read books. He snuffed them up, took breaths of them into his lungs, filled his eyes with the sight of the print and his head with the sound of words. Some emanation from the book itself poured into his bones, as if he were absorbing steady sunshine. The pages had […]
Her body hung off the side of the bed, and by the odd angle Shuggie could tell the drink had spun her all night like a Catherine wheel. He turned her head to the side to stop her choking on her rising boak. Then he placed the mop bucket near the bed and gently unzipped […]
I liked imagining Julian had a wife back in England. I am a jezebel, I’d think. This wine rack was a wedding gift and I am using it to store Jack Daniel’s because I have terrible taste in everything. She is Catholic – in the English recusant aristocrat sense, not the Irish poverty sense – […]
’Maurice, what shall I do?’’Well, have you been to see him yet?’’Not yet. But of course I ought to. As soon as I can find someone to stay with the girls, for a night or two if it’s necessary, I’m going to go. Thank you for making my mind up.’’No, don’t do that.’’Don’t do what?’’Don’t […]
It’s been my habit of mind, over these years, to understand that every situation in which human beings are involved can be turned on its head. Everything someone assures me to be true might not be. Every pillar of belief the world rests on may or may not be about to explode. Most things don’t […]
My revulsion at this place of our lives – this society of which we are a part – seems not to immediately admit an obvious truth: the people who are ground to bits by our horrific thoughtlessness, selfishness, greed, though they may not know in each case why it has happened, they do not need […]
”What is your remarkable little friend doing?” asked a voice behind me, and I turned to find Mary Cavendish at my elbow. She smiled, and so did I. ”What is it all about?” ”Really, I can’t tell you. He asked Dorcas some question about a bell, and appeared so delighted with her answer that he […]
’I can’t think why you’re so inquisitive. It isn’t as if you’d even met Neville Forbes.’’No, but it’s like a kind of game,’ said Dulcie. It seemed – though she did not say this to Viola – so much safer and more comfortable to live in the lives of other people – to observe their […]
When we grow older we lack the fine courage of youth, and even an ordinary task like making a pullover for somebody we love or used to love seems too dangerous to be undertaken. Then Agatha might get to hear of it; that was something else to be considered. Her long, thin fingers might pick […]
’Perhaps you will see Piers’s lodgings,’ said Sybil, when I told her of the invitation, so much more respectable than my secret expedition would have been.’Lodgings’ sounder old-fashioned and sordid, and for a moment I felt as if it were wrong to be looking forward to the afternoon so much.’He asked me to have tea […]
It’s Tom’s thesis,’ said Deirdre in a reverent tone. ‘He’s just given me a copy to read. Look,’ she unwrapped the paper, ‘four hundred and ninety seven pages. How does he do it?’ ‘Well,’ said Catherine, ‘writers of fiction would tell you that one just goes on and on until one reaches page four hundred […]
Jane realized from Nicholas’s laugh and the uncomfortable silence that followed that she ought not to have spoken. ’I wonder whether a cup of tea would help us to see things in better perspective,’ she said quickly. ’I will just go and see Mrs Glaze about it,’ she added, hurrying from the room.’A cup of […]
When the roses bloomed, the garden was a sea of silver. Before Ava knew it, summer would be gone. This is the way time moved in the human world. Slowly at first, and then much too fast. The heron still nested on the rooftop, but she knew that in a few months’ time he would […]
Dad lost his job at the gypsum mine after getting in an argument with the foreman, and when Christmas came that year, we had no money at all. On Christmas Eve, Dad took each of us kids out into the desert night one by one. I had a blanket wrapped around me, and when it […]
I am trying. And I am afraid. I am afraid to write about side-stepping and feelings and overwork and depression and breakdown because I am still convinced that admitting vulnerability makes me weak, not strong. I am afraid of confirming that I am young and cute and powerless. I am afraid of admitting to all […]
”What’s it really like?” Leni asked Matthew the next day at the end of school. All around them, kids were gathering up their supplies to go home.”What?””Winter.”Matthew thought about it. ”Terrible and beautiful. It’s how you know if you’re cut out to be an Alaskan. Most go running back to the Outside before it’s over.””The […]
I am not aware at this moment that I have lost my innocence. I will realize it many years later. One day I will look back and understand that just as there was a moment in my life when I realized where my power lay, there was also a specific moment when I stopped believing […]
In her current life, it happened at least once a week that someone would wander into the store and then, when they discovered its mission, say something like ”Oh, I remember that time!” Fiona had learned to check her temper, to push her toes into the floor so her face didn’t change. ”I knew someone […]
at times like these Amma misses Dominique, who long ago absconded to America they should be sharing her breakthrough career moment togetherthey met in the eighties at an audition for a feature film set in a women’s prison (what else?)both were disillusioned at being put up for such parts as a slave, servant, prostitute, nanny […]
Maren knows Mamma has nightmares too. But she doubts her mother wakes with salt on her tongue, the sea mottling her breath. Sometimes Maren wonders whether she brought this life upon them all with her wishing for time alone with Diinna and Mamma. For though Kiberg is close, and Alta not so far, no man […]
At Browick, he said, teacher-student romances were known to happen from time to time, but he’d never had one because, before me, he’d never had the desire. I was the first student who put the thought in his head. There was something about me that made it worth the risk. I had an allure that […]
Kim Jiyoung is thirty-three years old, or thirty-four in Korean age. She got married three years ago and had a daughter last year. She rents a small apartment on the outskirts of Seoul with her husband Jung Daehyun, thirty-six, and daughter Jung Jiwon. Daehyun works at a mid-size IT company, and Jiyoung used to work […]
Two days passed before I ate anything or spoke to anyone. Two full days of lying on the damp mat, being bent and held down into submission. Thumbs pushed into the sides of my mouth so I couldn’t bite down. There was little reprieve, especially in the first week. One soldier would be done, would […]
The only thing that parents can really give their children are little knowledges: this is how you cut your own nails, this is the temperature of a real hug, this is how you untangle knots in your hair, this is how I love you. And what children give their parents, in return, is something less […]
He started tuning our cellos. The deep tones rang like a human voice, singing its darkest secrets, startling me. The floor shifted as a boat passed, rocked by the waves. I gazed upon him, another man I had known as a boy, his perfect profile impenetrable, but his hands—what tenderness and pain flowed from those […]
When they’d thrown their plastic cups away and pushed politely past the others back to their seats, the pianist returned to her bench and stared at the keys reflected there in the high ebony gloss with what seemed a superhuman concentration. Then she flung up her wrists, flared her nostrils, and the Hammerklavier was sprung […]
Habit is a funny thing. You might think you understand it, but you can never exactly see what it looks like when you’re doing it. I was thinking about Celeste and all the years she told me how insane it was that Maeve and I parked in front of the house we had lived in […]
He always stared at the moon, tracked its path over our house from our bedroom window. He knew the angles of moonlight. Sometimes, deep into the night, he’d slip out our window, unfurl the hose and drag it in his pyjamas all the way out to the front gutter where he’d sit for hours, silently […]
So Janie waited a bloom time, and a green time and an orange time. But when the pollen again gilded the sun and sifted down on the world she began to stand around the gate and expect things. What things? She didn’t know exactly. Her breath was gusty and short. She knew things that nobody […]
Far beneath the surface of the earth, hidden from the sun and the moon, upon the shores of the Starless Sea, there is a labyrinthine collection of tunnels and rooms filled with stories. Stories written in books and sealed in jars and painted on walls. Odes inscribed onto skin and pressed into rose petals. Tales […]
Since overhearing her and Deborah’s conversation on the night of the pizza, I had become hungrier for more clues about my mother, yet simultaneously more fearful of what I might discover. So far, Connie had proven prickly when questioned about her life, and only liked to talk about things when she could control the information […]
It came to her then with a horrible whoosh of the crescendo of truth: She had failed on a colossal level. She must have been failing for years and not realized it. She did not have a family as other people did. Other people had their children come and stay and they talked and laughed […]
Cuando Amaia Salazar tenía doce años estuvo perdida en el bosque durante dieciséis horas. Era de madrugada cuando la encontraron a treinta kilómetros al norte del lugar donde se había despistado de la senda. Desvanecida bajo la intensa lluvia, la ropa ennegrecida y chamuscada como la de una bruja medieval rescatada de una hoguera y, […]
My hands clench, and I wish for the lightning again, but it doesn’t come. She knows what I’m doing and laughs openly. Stars explode behind my eyes, clouding my vision, but I hear her go in a swirl of rustling silk. My sight returns just in time to see her dress disappear around a corner, […]
Khawla talked and talked. She would never stop talking, she said to her father, the way Maya had stopped talking when they married her off without anyone asking her opinion. Mayya had not had an education but Khawla had, and she would kill herself if her father insisted on this marriage. She was vowed to […]
She returned to her thoughts. Did the night-ghosts and fairies and jacky lanterns and other citizens of the secret commonwealth exist only in her imagination? Was there a logical, rational, scientific explanation for such things? Or were they inaccessible to science, and baffling to reason? Did they exist at all? ’Such things’ included dæmons, surely. […]
They knew our names and they knew our parents. But they did not know us, because not knowing was essential to their power. To sell a child right from under his mother, you must know that mother only in the thinnest way possible. To strip a man down, condemn him to be beaten, flayed alive, […]
We create a machine with intelligence and self-awareness and push it out into our imperfect world. Devised along generally rational lines, well disposed to others, such a mind soon finds itself in a hurricane of contradictions. We’ve lived with them and the list wearies us. Millions dying of diseases we know how to cure. Millions […]
Finally I reached my inner sanctum, deep in the Forbidden World Literature section. On my private shelves I’ve arranged my personal selection of proscribed books, off-limits to the lower ranks. Jane Eyre, Anna Karenina, Tess of the d’Ubervilles, Paradise Lost, Lives of Girls and Women – what a moral panic each one of them would […]
Nickel Boys were cheaper than a dime-a-dance and you got more for your money, or so they used to say. In recent years, some of the former students organised support groups, reuniting over the internet and meeting in diners and McDonald’s. Around someone’s kitchen table after an hour’s drive. Together they performed their own phantom […]
More images come then, one superimposed on the next. And I abandon chronology in favour of waves of memory, overlapping and merging. My final look through the judas hole: I am kneeling on the bare boards of my attic bathroom at Lyntons, one eye pressed to the lens that sticks up from the floor, a […]
I stand up and rinse the gloves in the sink, but I don’t remove them. Ayoola is looking at my reflection in the mirror.”We need to move the body,” I tell her.”Are you angry at me?”Perhaps a normal person would be angry, but what I feel now is a pressing need to dispose of the […]
Nostalgia Nalan believed there were two kinds of families in this world: relatives formed the blood family; and friends, the water family. If your blood family happened to be nice and caring, you could count your lucky stars and make the most of it; and if not, there was still hope; things could take a […]
There’s a shimmer on a child’s hair, in the sunlight. There are rainbow colors in it, tiny, soft beams of just the same colors you can see in the dew sometimes. They’re in the petals of flowers, and they’re on a child’s skin. Your hair is straight and dark, and your skin is very fair. […]
When one of the ships moved purposefully towards the quay, our spirits rose immediately; this manoeuvre was clearly the precursor of the promised evacuation and no one regretted having to leave. The crowd was getting impatient, and there were loud cheers and cries of ”Let’s go!” When the gangplank was dropped, there was a strange […]
‘His pride,’ said Miss Lucas, ‘does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a right to be proud.’ ‘That is […]
In the emails today was one from a former employee, Sara, who worked for me during school holidays a few years ago: ’Yo Bitch-tits, I need a reference. Here’s the form attached. Make it good, you bastard or I will come and get you.’ So I wrote this and emailed it to her. TO WHOM […]
Perhaps there can be too much making of cups of tea, I thought, as I watched Miss Statham filling the heavy teapot. We had all had our supper, or were supposed to have had it, and were met together to discuss the arrangements for the Christmas bazaar. Did we really need a cup of tea? […]
Sophie did not possess many books. She had her hymnal, her Evangelium, and a list, bound with ribbon, of all the dogs that her family had ever had, although some of them had died so long ago that she could not remember them. To this she now added the introductory chapter of the story of […]
Now the story of Warrender Chase was in reality already formed, and by no means influenced by the affairs of the Autobiographical Association. But the interesting thing was, it seemed rather the reverse to me at the time. At the time; but thinking it over now, how could that have been? And yet, it was […]
From the lower-floor dormitories the people in the street looked larger, and the paths of the park were visible. All the nice people were poor, and few were nicer, as nice people come, than these girls at Kensington who glanced out of the windows in the early mornings to see what the day looked like, […]
Tuesday, 8 July 2008 The phrase ’rollercoaster of emotion’ gets a lot of airtime in obs and gynae but I’ve never seen the big dipper hurtle round its loop quite as fast as today. Called to the Early Pregnancy Unit by one of the SHOs to confirm a miscarriage at eight weeks – he’s new […]
If the fashion in which I applied to and signed on for the Mongol Derby was characteristically thoughtless, the event itself would, perversely, leave me deep in thought. Grasses and a blue-domed sky. Bodies and wind and rain and pain. Wide, open prairies, and 25 ponies saying, ’Who are you?’ and ’Who are we?’ By […]
What do you fear when you fear everything? Time passing and not passing. Death and life. I could say my lungs never filled with enough air, no matter how many puffs of my inhaler I took. Or that my thoughts moved too quickly to complete, severed by a perpetual vigilance. But even to say this […]
Part of what made the old world so terrible, so prone to destruction, was a total lack of preparation for the personal energies often called feelings. Mother told us about these kind of energies. Especially dangerous for women, our bodies already so vulnerable in ways that the bodies of men are not. It was a […]
Here and there, solo spires rise above the giants’ chorus. They look like green thunderheads, or rocket plumes. From below, the tallest neighbors read like mid-sized incense cedars. Only now, seventy yards above the ground, can Nicholas gauge the true size of these few old ones, five times larger than the largest whale. Giants march […]
After all, were we not ọgbanje? It was an insult to be subject to the decisions made around what was just a vessel. To be carried away like cargo, to be deposited in the land of the corrupters, inside this child simmering with emotions, searching for us because she was uprooted and alone, and we, […]
In my bedroom, my bed stood neatly covered, just the way I had left it. I could hear the sound of our laughter, smell my childhood – the good Aai used to cook and lovingly feed me – that wafting floral smell of saffron in the pulao, turmeric-perfumed dal, the sweet rasgullas. There wasn’t any […]
Across the fields in the half-light I could just make out something moving in the distance, a flash of white against the darkening trees. It was a barn owl, flying low through the dusk, following the path of the river, heading straight for the Mill, heading straight for us. I walked back down the long […]
We were very upset, all the same, for reasons too numerous to mention. Clearly our aunt was not a stable person. At the time we did not put this thought into words. It existed between us as a sort of undifferentiated attentiveness to all the details of her appearance and behaviour. At first this took […]
”Every woman who enters the sea carries a coffin on her back,” she warned the gathering. ”In this world, in the undersea world, we tow the burdens of a hard life. We are crossing between life and death every day.” These traditional words were often repeated on Jeju, but we all nodded soberly as though […]
I, being I, went always that little bit too far of course. There was one master who had berated me in a lesson for some tautology or other. He, as what human being wouldn’t when confronted with a lippy verbal show-off like me, delighted in seizing on opportunities to put me down. He was not, […]
Survival, true survival of the body and soul, requires creativity, freedom of thought, collaboration. You might have time and I might have land. You might have ideas and I might have strength. You might have a tomato and I might have a knife. We need each other. We need to say: I honor the things […]
All the way home on the train I thought of Dad and the terrible mistake I had made. I’d thought that to heal my great hurt, I should flee to the wild. It was what people did. The nature books I’d read told me so. So many of them had been quests inspired by grief […]
Nearly every person you will read about is deeply flawed. Some have tried to murder other people, and a few were successful. Some have abused their children, physically or emotionally. Many abused (and still abuse) drugs. But I love these people, even those to whom I avoid speaking for my own sanity. And if I […]
It was a difficult time to be Irish, a difficult time to be twenty-one years of age and a difficult time to be a man who was attracted to other men. To be all three simultaneously required a level of subterfuge and guile that felt contrary to my nature. I had never considered myself to […]
”When I was young,” Mrs. Kitteridge said, holding her sunglasses in her hand, ”—little, you know—I’d hide in the wood box when my father came home. And he’d sit down on the wood box and say, ’Where’s Olive? Where can Olive be?’ This would go on, till I’d knock on the side, and he’d act […]
These girls formed the Brodie set. That was what they had been called even before the headmistress had given them the name, in scorn, when they had moved from the Junior to the Senior school at the age of twelve. At that time they had been immediately recognisable as Miss Brodie’s pupils, being vastly informed […]
After twenty minutes of waiting as instructed – in an unforgiving wind – a Bedford bus pulled up in front of Juliet. It was a single-decker and on its side it announced ’Highland Tours’ and Juliet thought, crumbs – were they going to Scotland and shouldn’t someone have told her so she could have packed […]
December 9 1959 Dear Mr Thornton, A good book is the precious life-blood of a master-spirit, embalmed and treasured up on purpose to a life beyond life, and as such it must surely be a necessary commodity. Yours sincerely, Florence Green Penelope Fitzgerald: The Bookshop Törmäsin Storytelissa kirjaan, jolla oli kirjanystävää houkutteleva nimi ja melko […]
Years before, I had had a lover who was a welder. As a gift he once welded me the single most beautiful object that I own. It is a palm-sized box made of Plexiglas, with several stacked layers of blue-greenish broken glass sealed inside. The box, he explained to me, is the love. It is […]
The child seemed relieved when she disappeared down the hallway. He placed one of the books on the table, arranged the other on my legs as if they were a desk, and began to leaf through each page. I ran my hands through his hair and he, perhaps encouraged by the gesture, asked me, composed: […]
The Phipps building fell. Smoke plumed, the breath of God. Silence followed, then the group’s shouts of triumph. Wine glasses clashed together, flashing martial light. He sang the first bars of a Jejah psalm. Others soon joined in. Carillon bells chimed, distant birds blooming white, strewn, like dandelion tufts, an outsize wish. It must have […]
It is different on this side. Human beings are curators. Each polishes his or her own favoured memories, arranging them in order to create a narrative that pleases. Some events are repaired and polished for display; others are deemed unworthy and cast aside, shelved below ground in the overflowing storeroom of the mind. There, with […]
For every door that’s been opened to me, I’ve tried to open my door to others. And here is what I have to say, finally: Let’s invite one another in. Maybe then we can begin to fear less, to make fewer wrong assumptions, to let go of the biases and stereotypes that unnecessarily divide us. […]
We are foolish as teenagers. We say wrong things, do not know how to be modest, or less shy. We judge easily. But the only hope given us, although only in retrospect, is that we change. We learn, we evolve. What I am now was formed by whatever happened to me then, not by what […]
From my father I had learnt that books were to be either adored or exiled. Books that were of God – books written by the Mormon prophets or the Founding Fathers – were not to be studied so much as cherished, like a thing perfect in itself. I had been taught to read the words […]
Ruinous though the situation is, catastrophic even, it is also quite fitting that it’s ended the way it has, because it has always been about the house. Our marriage, our family, our life they only seemed to make proper sense at home. Take us out of it – even on one of the smart holidays […]
On taas pikaluotsauksen aika. Pikaluotsaus on sarja, jossa käsittelen kerralla useamman lukukokemuksen tiivistetymmässä muodossa. Tällä kertaa kaikki kolme kirjaa ovat samalta kirjailijalta, sillä onnistuin hurahtamaan Carol Shieldsin kirjoitustyyliin ja nautiskelin kolme hänen teostaan peräjälkeen. Carol Shields (1935- 2003) syntyi Chicagossa, Yhdysvalloissa, mutta eli koko aikuiselämänsä Kanadassa. Hän on julkaissut lukuisia romaaneja, novellikokoelmia, näytelmiä ja runoja, […]
“You have special abilities,” she goes on. “I don’t mean you are a witch or a fox spirit. And you’ve never seemed drawn to the special gift of healing or magic. Rather, you are like A-ma Mata, who gave birth to the Akha people, who pushed against her restraints, who said, ‘No, I will not […]
Osallistun taas Tuijatan lanseeraamaan naistenviikkohaasteeseen. Olin jo ajatellut tehdä pikaluotsauksen eli lyhyet arviot viime aikoina kuuntelemistani äänikirjoista, joissa kaikissa on vahva nainen päähenkilönä. Naistenviikon ja haasteen kunniaksi julkaisenkin lyhyet jutut omina postauksinaan. Parhaillaan luettavana on pari kiinnostavaa romaania, jotka myös sopivat teemaan. Nähtäväksi jää ehtivätkö nekin haasteviikkoon mukaan. Ensimmäisenä on kuitenkin vuorossa Sarah Perryn The […]
”What about you?” asks Grace, addressing her father for the first time. ”Why didn’t you tell me about this?” He was diagnosed just before Christmas last year. He didn’t want to ruin Grace’s holiday with his grim news. Then full denial set in. He couldn’t have even whispered, alone in his condo with no one […]
Here was an entry – a serious one – which he hadn’t crossed out in years. He couldn’t remember where it came from. He never recorded the writer or the source: he didn’t want to be bullied by reputation; truth should stand by itself, clear and unsupported. This one went: ’In my opinion, every love, […]
That was the moment, before I even stepped onto the train, when I realized the most important thing that was happening to me. They were takin my natural feelings away, so quietly that it could have occurred without my noticing. I understood in a flash that I must keep my mind safe, whatever came next. […]
This may be hard to believe, coming from a black man, but I’ve never stolen anything. Never cheated on my taxes or at cards. Never snuck into the movies or failed to give back the extra change to a drugstore cashier indifferent to the ways of mercantilism and minimum-wage expectations. I’ve never burgled a house. […]
The missing girl’s name was Rebecca, or Becky, or Bex. She had been thirteen at the time of her disappearance. She’d been wearing a white hooded top with a navy-blue body-warmer, black jeans, and canvas shoes. She would be taller than five feet now, and her hair may have altered in both style and colour. […]
The car engine made a few clicking sounds as they sat in silence. ”You asked about my mother,” Pete said after a few moments. ”Nobody has ever asked about my mother. But the truth is, I don’t know if my mother loved us or not. I don’t know about her in some big way.” He […]
He prayed fundamentally as a gesture of love for what had gone and would go and could be loved in no other way. When he prayed he touched his parents, who could not otherwise be touched, and he touched a feeling that we are all children who lose our parents, all of us, every man […]
At last they set down the chair near the water. Panting from the walk, Anna leaned her head against her sister’s and watched a long wave form, stretching until it achieved translucence, then somersaulting forward and collapsing into creamy suds that eked toward them over the sand, nearly touching the wheels of Lydia’s chair. Then […]
’Once upon a time, there lived a girl and a boy called Aneeka and Parvaiz, who had the power to talk to animals.’ Aneeka laughed. ’Tell the one with the ostrich’, she said, voice muffled by her pillow. She was asleep before Isma was done telling the childhood story which their mother had invented for […]
Levoton olo. On pakko saada vastauksia. Minkä takia äiti perui noin vain käyntimme Mjölbyssä? Mitä pahaa minä olen tehnyt? Käyn läpi viimeaikaisen viestinvaihtomme, palaan muistoissani tuntien ja päivien halki löytääkseni jotain, mikä voi selittää hänen äkillisen vihaisuutensa. Olenko sanonut jotain, minkä hän on käsittänyt väärin? Onko joku toinen kertonut hänelle jotain, mitä olen sanonut hänestä? […]
One day, it snows again. Stopping at the window, Della is possessed by an urge to go outside and move into it. As far as her old feet will take her. She wouldn’t even need her walker. Wouldn’t need anything. Looking at the snow, blowing around beyond the window glass, Della has the feeling that […]
That year, 1972, was just the beginning. When I started reading the paper the three-day week, the next power cuts, the government’s fifth state of emergency were not so far ahead of us. I believed what I read, but it seemed remote. Cambridge looked much the same, and so did the woods around the Cannings’ […]
Dear Mr. Hanks, Congratulations on your book Uncommon Type and greetings from Finland! Yes, it’s the same country that just celebrated its 100 years of independence. You kindly wished us happy birthday and wanted to give us a baseball glove and two balls so we can play catch. Well, thank you for that and here […]
Later it would seem to Pearl that the Richardsons must have arranged themselves into a tableau for her enjoyment, for surely they could not always exist in this state of domestic perfection. There was Mrs. Richardson in the kitchen making cookies, of all things – something her own mother never did, though if Pearl begged […]
”It’s hard. It’s really, really hard.” Why didn’t she have more words? She thought of the Nothing. The ghost girl’s orange teeth. She thought of doors slammed. The bright blur of her mother’s cooking in a trashcan now long since rotted in some suburb. She thought of the flashes of something bigger and brighter than […]
The train lurched into the tunnel. Northward. The engineer yelled, ”All aboard! The boy was simple, Cora decided, responsibilities of his office notwithstanding. She looked back. Her underground prison waned as the darkness reclaimed it. She wondered if she was its final passenger. May the next traveler not tarry and keep moving up the line, […]
On my own journey, I occasionally arrived in a place that was a quintessential carte postale – and yet there was something not quite right about it, something that made me dislike it, a gut feeling, perhaps. Similarly, I went to places that were scruffy, but charming. Of course, this might have something to do […]
She turned and walked back into the house, shedding her shoes as she crossed the grass, wishing there were dewdrops against the soles of her feet, thinking of Massud who had loved that sensation. She went into the staircase and emerged onto the roof, feeling surrounded by her river and her city, her land. This […]
I remember the stories my mother used to tell me, stories that had been handed down by her own grandmother’s grandmother, who had married a merchant and travelled from the villages outside of Battambang. My mother once told me that when a child is born, threads are tied around the infant’s wrists to bind her […]
I find I think of myself not as a writer so much as someone who provides a gateway, a tangential route for readers to reach the circus. To visit the circus again, if only in their minds, when they are unable to attend it physically. I relay it through printed words on crumpled newsprint, words […]
”I assumed,” Ai-ming told me, ”that when Big Mother’s stories finished, life would continue and I would go back to being myself. But it wasn’t true. The stories got longer and longer, and I got smaller and smaller. When I told my grandmother this, she laughed her head off. She said, ’But that’s how the […]
Later, when they look back on this last evening, the family will remember almost nothing. So many things will be pared away by the sadness to come. Nath, flushed with excitement, chattered through dinner, but none of them – including him – will remember this unusual volubility, or a single word he said. They will […]
Joulun lukutahti on ollut niin jäätävä, ettei kirjoitustahti meinaa pysyä tasoissa millään. Taas täytyy vähän niputtaa, niinpä nimeän tämän tiistain trilleritiistaiksi ja tiivistän tunnelmani kahdesta kiinnostavasta psykologisesta trilleristä. Shari Lapenan Hyvä naapuri julkaistaan tammikuun ensimmäisellä viikolla, lämmin kiitos Otavalle ennakkokappaleesta. Toivottavasti S. K. Tremaynen The Fire Child suomennetaan myös pian. Kirjailijan edellinen teos Jääkaksoset ilmestyi niin ikään […]
Deborah Levy on kirjailija, joka oli minulle hetki sitten vielä täysin tuntematon. Sitten tapahtui outo yhteensattuma. Mies toi työmatkalta tuliaisena Levyn uuden romaanin Hot Milk. Samaan aikaan kun luin kirjaa, sain kirjastosta viestin saapuneesta varauksesta: Deborah Levyn Uiden kotiin. Olin täysin unohtanut tehneeni kirjasta varauksen monien kirjabloggaajien suositusten perusteella. Nyt olen sitten tutustunut tämän palkitun kirjailijan […]
The morning Julia found the phone, my parents were over for brunch. Everything was falling apart around Benjy, although I’ll never know what he knew at the time, and neither will he. The adults were talking when he reentered the kitchen and said, ”The sound of time. What happened to it?” ”What are you talking […]
Anyway, the older, longer, sluggish Marithe had looked up at the stars and asked her mother, who was sitting in the chair opposite, whether it would come back, this sense of being inside your life, not outside it? Claudette had put down her book and thought for a moment. And then she had said something […]
Olive fell asleep beside it at four in the morning. The next day, she stood before the painting as the sun cracked low along the sky beyond her window. She never knew she was capable of such work. She had made, for the first time, a picture of such movement and excess and fecundity that […]
What is it that causes us to fall in love? We are met with those first, initial glimpses– a kind of curiosity, a longing for that which is both familiar and unknown in the other. And then comes the surprise of discovery; we share certain aspirations, certain appreciations, and that which is different excites us. […]
I see now that I wasn’t thinking straight that weekend. Maybe I hadn’t been thinking straight since the beginning, since that luminous Saturday morning in July when I took my seat at the lido café and came face to face with our bewitching new lake of ultramarine. Since I’d begin seeing Elm Hill in spangled, […]
They were night people, one step away from ghosts, and strangers to each other. Some had husbands, as she guessed by their wedding rings, and many had children, who, contrary to the rules, telephoned in the night to report some crisis. The mothers, knowing that phone calls were forbidden, lurked in corners, to listen. Many […]
But surely we all carried some little piece of each other inside of us. So what did it matter, whether the memories belonging to her boy existed inside this other one? Why were we all hoarding love, stockpiling it, when it was all around us, moving in and out of us like the air, if […]
..”We are like water, aren’t we? We can be fluid, flexible when we have to be. But strong and destructive, too.” And something else, I think to myself. Like water, we mostly follow the path of least resistance. Wally Lamb oli minulle ennestään tuntematon kirjailija, mutta hänen kirjaansa We are water suositeltiin kovasti Goodreadsissa ja […]
We carry our families like anchors, rooting us in storms, making sure we never drift from where and who we are. We carry our families within us the way we carry our breath underwater, keeping us afloat, keeping us alive. I’ve been lifting anchors since I was eighteen. I’ve been holding my breath since before […]
Dreams edit themselves; dreams are ruthless with details. Common sense does not dictate what remains, or is not included, in a dream. A two-minute dream can feel like forever. Pitkässä parisuhteessa toisen maneerit saattavat välillä ärsyttää vietävästi ja samanaikaisesti ne ovat juuri niitä asioita, jotka tekevät tästä kyseisestä persoonasta sydämesi valitun. Tämä aika pitkälle kuvaa […]
Then he spoke in a voice more menacing than Robin had ever heard, the more so because he half crooned the words, so close to the receiver that he seemed to be breathing into her ear. ’Do A know you, little girl?’ Robin tried to speak, but no sound came out. The line went dead. […]
What he carried with him, all he carried with him, was a lack, something like a lack of air, of proper behaviour in his lungs, a difficulty that he supposed would go on forever. The girl he’d been talking to, whom he’d once known – she had spoken of her children. The loss of her […]
Markos and Hüseyin led their respective families along different routes, both aware of the safest roads to take. The rest of them, who had hidden inside their homes for so long, were shocked by what they saw: the silent streets, the neglected gardens. The sight of their beautiful Famagusta in a state of shadowy semi-dereliction […]
From the terrace he had an open view of the place where he and Udayan had been raised. Lower rooftops of tin or tile, with squash vines trailing over them. The tops of walls, dotted white, splattered with excrement from crows. Two oblong ponds on the other side of the lane. The lowland, looking to […]
She made her way back quickly through the woods, careful to avoid the boathouse and its memories. Dawn was breaking as she reached the house; the rain was light. The lake’s water lapped at its banks and the last of the nightingales called farewell. The blackcaps and warblers were waking, and far in the distance […]
Perdu reflected that it was a common misconception that booksellers looked after books. They look after people. Perdu wanted Anna to feel that she was in a nest. He wanted her to sense the boundless possibilities offered by books. They would always be enough. They would never stop loving their readers. They were a […]
At first they stare, curious, trying to figure him out. Is he drunk? Mentally impaired? Is he harmless or violent? Is he contagious? Deranged? Before they get too close, they decide their best course of action is to look away, to pretend not to see the revolting display of human disability before them, and they […]
There were moments, he had to admit, when he sounded slightly unhinged. He’d had plenty of quiet time since missing his chance to escape with the Coast Guard to consider whether he was losing his grip on reality and he found it hard to argue otherwise. But he couldn’t make himself believe it. And he […]
Helene Weckerin esikoiskirja The Golem and the Djinni valikoitui luettavakseni Goodreadsin suosituksesta. Kirja on fantasiaa, mutta sen voisi hyvin sanoa kuvaavan sitä, minkälaista on elää siirtolaisena, vähemmistön edustajana ja selvästi enemmistöstä poikkeavana. Tarina tapahtuu New Yorkissa vuonna 1899. Siirtolaisia tulvivan New Yorkin kirjavaan joukkoon ilmaantuu kaksi omaa luokkaansa olevaa hahmoa. Toinen on golem, juutalaisessa tarustossa esiintyvä saviolento, jonka […]
I was a little girl and then I wasn’t. I was a bacha posh and then I wasn’t. I was a daughter and then I wasn’t. I was a mother and then I wasn’t. Just as soon as I could adjust, things changed. I changed. This last change was the worst. Tällä viikolla vietetään Dekkariviikkoa. […]
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