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Nicky was going with Doll by then and got to experience the house first-hand. The atmosphere was that of a continuous, continuously improvised party that periodically doldrums and never ended, contending playlists emanating from different rooms, a standing bank of smoke shimmering in seeming permanence in the sitting room, pin-eyed young ones rattling on the […]
Gulliver had come down first to breakfast and had eaten a boiled egg. Duncan had eaten fried eggs and bacon collecting them from the hot-plate on the sideboard. Gulliver now blamed himself for having bothered Annushka to get him a boiled egg. He would have liked eggs and bacon better, he now decided. However he […]
When I think about the phases of my life, it is as a series of rooms behind me, each with a door to a previous room left open, behind which is another room, and another and another. The rooms are not quite empty, not exactly dark, but they are shadowy, with indistinct shapes, and I […]
“Tonight was lovely,” Eva said.“Mm,” Isabel said, washing her hands.“I really have been wanting to meet you, you know. You most of all. Louis has told me so much. You live in the old family home, right? In the house where you three grew–”“I didn’t invite you here tonight.”Eva was caught in a breath, mouth […]
It is, of course, impossible to be certain of what is contained in anyone’s chest, least of all one’s own or those we know well, perhaps especially those we know best, but, as I stand here on the upper level of King’s Cross Station, from where I can monitor my old friend Hosam Zowa walking […]
You will wonder about the name Victoria once you find out your real mother named you that while she was dying and birthing you. Wonder if she was saying the word Victory! out loud at some unknown triumph, perhaps the sound of you crying as you came out, that you came out alive, that she […]
“I want to know all about everything,” he said.“I’ll tell you anything you ask,” she answered. “But you must promise to like it,” she added, smiling.“Why? Why shouldn’t I like it?” he asked quickly, his face changing. “You’re not–you’re not going to be married?”“Oh–don’t be silly. There. I’m ready. Shall we go down?”“I suppose you […]
Not that this inward amazement of Dorothea’s was anything very exceptional: many souls in their young nudity are tumbled out among incongruities and left to ‘find their feet’ among them, while their elders go about their business. Nor can I suppose that when Mrs. Casaubon is discovered in a fit of weeping six weeks after […]
One morning Duncan’s silence had a new quality. He seemed to be waiting for someone to speak, and at last spoke himself.‘Does anyone notice a difference in the room?’‘The portrait of Aunt Ellen is over the sideboard. I saw it when I came in.’‘Then why did you not speak of it?’‘I don’t know, Uncle. No […]
If I had my life over again I should form the habit of nightly composing myself to thoughts of death. I would practise, as it were, the remembrance of death. There is no other practise which so intensifies life. Death, when it approaches, ought not to take one by surprise. It should be part of […]
When I was about four I can remember a rather dreadful thing happening, it was very early in the morning and for some reason I had been put to sleep in the same bed as Granny, but I woke up and found she wasn’t in bed but walking up and down the room with her […]
What a blessing it is to love books. Everybody must love something, and I know of no objects of love that give substantial and unfailing returns as books and a garden. And how easy it would have been to come into the world without this, and possessed instead of an all-consuming passion, say, for hats, […]
The whale became stranded in the shallows of the island overnight, appearing from the water like a cat slinking under a door. No one noticed it: not the lighthouse with its halo of light on the water, or the night fishermen searching for whiting and sole, or the farmers moving cattle over the hill at […]
‘So what is it about billionaires and survivalism?’ she’d asked him, the third or fourth time they met. ‘Is it just an arms race? Like, just a pissing contest? Or do you all know something that we don’t?’‘Both,’ he said, quite calmly. ‘I mean, of course it’s a pissing contest. What isn’t?’she tried to think […]
What do those who struggle against power do when they seize power? What does the revolutionary do when the revolution triumphs? Why do those who call for independence and freedom take away the independence and freedom of others? And is it sane or insane to believe, as so many around us apparently do, in nothing? […]
“There’s one question I want to ask you”, he began.She looked up.“Just one?”“If the phone rang in your garage on Long Island one morning, or one day, and it was me and I was in New York, or was even closer, and I had come to see you, what would you do?” Eilis appeared puzzled, […]
Shanghai was her world. The only nature she knew were its willows and man-made lakes, the only sky its milky-orange canopy. She’d been raised to the beats of its drills and swings of its cranes, to the glow of its neon lights and the density of its crowds. Here China converged, and toward China the […]
You must understand: There is no single day on which a war begins. The conflict will collect around you gradually, the way carrion birds assemble around the vulnerable, until there are so many predators that the object of their hunger is not even visible. You will not even be able to see yourself in the […]
‘Raef. Listen to me. You go have to be a big boy and try to understand.’He nodded, although his interest was already drifting to the very pinkest of shells in the pile the others had collected.‘Soon Mammy going in England.’ It was as though she said it every day, like saying it’s time for supper. […]
I look about me questioningly. The media are scribbling, Julian’s KC is talking to his instructing solicitor, making out it is nothing to him, that if the jury aren’t there, this doesn’t add anything. He’s right. I know I don’t have much time before he is on his feet again. So I speak up once […]
Nothing is more flattering to an artist than the illusion that he is a secret revolutionary. These public developments created a feeling among the cast that we were, in fact, preparing ourselves on a training base for an operation with a transcendental goal, that in combing our translated lines for subtext we were fighting the […]
Even though his mission was just your garden-variety nineteenth-century scientific expedition, at dinner with friends I often joke that my great-great-grandfather was a huaquero of international repute. Huaquero is not a euphemism. It’s how I refer to the looters who to this day remove cultural and artistic properties from archaeological sites. Huaqueros can range from […]
She recognized the puzzlement on my face and asked me where my gohyang was, probably in effort to help my understanding. “I’m from Ulsan, Gyeongsang-do,” I told her. But I added that I didn’t feel much longing for Ulsan, that I didn’t even think about it very often. I had no desire to go back […]
Take the ivory Adam and Eve. There’s a profusion of symbolism embedded in the piece, augmenting a notable consistency of proportion and a fine balance of pose. Or so a museum tour guide would say, each word further walling off your chances of feeling any raw emotions at all. Now steal the carving, follow Breitwieser’s […]
I cannot get enough of Dutch art. You can turn to this other world – and it is a picture world as no other, a whole society visualised through time and place, seasons and generations, moment by – and live inside it in your thoughts. There is always more of it, and then inexhaustibly more. […]
I used to want desperately to be a ‘proper’ critic, to be taken seriously, to have full command of history and theory, but I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to ‘admire’ writing for its erudition. I want to be changed by it. I want to know what it’s like to be someone else. […]
When Mum told me about the monster blood and how it felt to stick a paring knife in the throat of her husband in order to save her life and mine, the words landed inside my head like breaking glass. I swear I felt a crack running across my brain, just like the crack in […]
Leon opens the door wide. They all look at him. Social workers have two pretend faces, pretend Happy and Pretend Sad. They’re not supposed to get angry so they make angry into sad. This time they’re pretending to care about him and Jake and his mum.“I want to get my things,” he says.They all look […]
Only when I was young did I believe that it was important to remember what happened in every novel I read. Now I know the truth: what matters is what you experience while reading, the states of feeling that the story evokes, the questions that rise to your mind, rather than the fictional events described. […]
I had expected that a tutor was a sort of vessel which would tip and empty its contents into my brain and I would be full of education. Instead, my tutor opened for me daily the Book of Life and bid me peruse where I would in pursuit, not so much of answers – for […]
Life, authentic life, is supposed to be all struggle, unflagging action and affirmation, the will butting its blunt head against the world’s wall, suchlike, but when I look back I see that the greater part of my energies was always given over to the simple search for shelter, for comfort, for, yes, I admit it, […]
The next morning Cordelia lay in bed while drowsy bluebottles struggled against the windowpanes. She watched the sudden, fast shadows of swallows who flew past her window in fleeting pairs subtracting light from her room and marvelled how living things could suspend themselves in midair. She imagined the last of the over-ripe fruit, the latecomers, […]
She started bringing it up with Jack, began wondering out loud whether they should consider having a child. And when he hesitated, she asked whether their reluctance to have a family was possibly a symptom of their own difficult childhoods, suggesting that maybe they were afraid of duplicating exactly the conditions that drove each of […]
It occurred to me that what I had transmitted to her, across four countries, was pain. We were all striding out into the world once again to infect and be infected by each other. If she was my double and I was hers, was it true that she was knowing, I was unknowing, she was […]
I continued to spend the long years since childhood cultivating solitude, pursuing silence to its ever-receding horizon, a pursuit that demanded a particular quality of attention, a self-forgetfulness on my part that would enable me to bring to bear the most painstaking, the most careful consideration to the other, to treat the other as the […]
Franklin’s Great Novel, begun after graduation, was an attempt to produce a ‘fictional text’ based on chaos theory. He entitled it What If? ‘I’m trying,’ he declared to anyone who would listen (not many), ‘to re-create the fractal in fictive form – an endlessly bifurcating narrative, based not on making a choice but on making […]
She looks to the sky watching the rain as it falls through space and there is nothing to see in the ruined yard but the world insisting on itself, the cement’s sedate crumbling giving way to the rising sap beneath, and when the yard is past there will remain the world’s insistence, the world insisting […]
Before he became a father, he imagined the relationship as being like an intensive version of owning a pet. The child, he thought, was essentially a passive, a vessel into which you poured your love. On TV that’s how it looked. Children were silent, dormant; you went into their bedrooms, gazed down at them fondly, […]
Enough time goes by and it is as if old things never happened. Things once fresh, immediate, terrible, receding away into old God’s time, like the walkers walking so far along Killiney Strand that, as you watch them, there is a moment when they are only a black speck, and then they’re gone. Maybe old […]
It begins with What are you? hollered from the perimeter of your front yard when you’re nine — younger, probably. You’ll be asked again throughout junior high and high school, then out in the world, in strip clubs, in food courts, over the phone, and at various menial jobs. The askers are expectant. They demand immediate gratification. […]
I don’t know if you have ever stood in the middle of a squash court – on the T – and listened to what is going on next door. What I’m thinking of is the sound from the next court of a ball hit clean and hard. It’s a quick, low pistol-shot of a sound, […]
It’s the most unbearable time of day. My shirt sticks to my shoulders and I go off for a shower and rare privacy. The ice water unfastens my body in a travelling line, and my thoughts follow it. The power is a form of contact; that’s what I said to Uria. We activate it, we […]
My first experiences of school confirmed my suspicion that life was better at home, and if anyone asks me now, why were you home-schooled, I have taught myself to say, because my mother was really good at it. And, as it turned out, I didn’t have much time with her, so I am glad, now, […]
On this random Monday, just moments before his first day of secondary school,Jamie O’Neill knows:his mother’s liver enzymes elevated, and that a complex system overheated in her young body in those precious and devastating moments after giving birth to him –as was first determined in labour by her proteinuriaand he knows from his researchthat her […]
He was waiting for me by the Coromandel screen. I hesitated – it suddenly occurred to me what people might say: I was a white woman alone in another mans house, and not just any man, but a Chinaman. He looked across the length of the hall at me, and then, without uttering a word, […]
“Have I insulted you? Have I really got through? Well, listen to me, then. Listen while you’re conscious.” Hostility dawned at last. “Don’t speak to me like that,” she blazed, and added “please” with a trembling underlip. Her anger was not womanly, it was like a hurt little boy and its quality was as dangerously […]
That’s right; I am queer, from queer folk, queer stock. The very queerest. Here we are, stuck on an island, a hollow, a swamp, the desert, no sooner settled than banished again. You bet I’m queer. I’m no landlord nor lawyer, no duke nor lord of the looms. I’m no cap doffer, no knee bender, […]
Of course, now I know Vita’s little bird-heart, I remember those one-sided conversations differently. I see that my frequent muteness was a convenience to someone who was soft-feathered and sharp-eyed. And who sang away to herself in my presence, happily and without interruption, for she knew I had no song with which to call back. […]
She had never cared much for books, because they did not seem to be about her, and she thought that she would rather write a book herself, to a pattern of her own choosing and about a beautiful young girl with a startling white skin, heiress to great property, wearing white piqué at Osborne and […]
The past, were I to type it up, would look like a disaster, but regardless of how it ended we all had many good days. In that sense the past is much like the present because the present – this unparalleled disaster – is the happiest time of my life: Joe and I here on […]
The night was at her disposal. She might walk back to Great Mop and arrive very late; or she might sleep out and not trouble to arrive till to-morrow. Whichever she did Mrs Leak would not mind. That was one of the advantages of dealing with witches; they do not mind if you are a […]
Mr. Weston was now gone, and we too went on our way; but as we returned, after having deposited the hare in a farm-house, and demolished some spice-cake and currant-wine in exchange, we met him returning also from the execution of his mission, whatever it might be. He carried in his hand a cluster of […]
‘Darling, now listen. You know about me being beautiful?’ ‘You’re all right.’ ‘No, Rudolph, please say I’m beautiful; it’s part of the thing.’ ‘I suppose you’re going to tell me you’re a beautiful female spy?’ ‘In a way, I was.’ ‘Yes, I’m quite sure you were. And that you have a Chief, but you don’t […]
She could not endure this day’s being over. Fixedly lookin ahead, past the driver’s ears, she cast no backward glances; she could not bear to. Nor did she need to; the beautiful agonising mirage of the University was inescapable from. This was a forever she had no part in. The eternity was more real to […]
I have been much afflicted again lately by visitors – not stray callers to be got rid of after a due administration of tea and things you are sorry afterwards that you said, but people staying in the house and not to be got rid of at all. All June was lost to me in […]
For the first time since her arrival in the Middle East she felt all of a piece; Gentile and Jewess, Vaughan and Aaronson; she had caught some of Freddy’s madness, having recognized by his manner in the car, as they careered across Jerusalem, that he had regained some lost or forgotten element in his nature […]
Feeling rather guilty I walked among the trees of Regent’s Park and ended up at the Zoo. I often went there to draw the animals, only this time I hardly saw them. They were just vague smells and noises, and I was surprised to find myself in the parrot house surrounded by lonely birds all […]
I do not know how many afternoons I lay on my bed listening to a litany of tennis noises from where my two brothers played on the court a little to the right below my window. Sometimes, to tell me it was time to get up, my elder brother Richard would send a tennis ball […]
She could not have said exactly when she had become aware of how often their neighbour Blanche Silcox’s name occurred in Evelyn’s conversation as that of a woman immensely knowledgeable on rural topics, whose opinions on the ethics of tied cottages, drainage and poultry-keeping for profit called forth respectful agreement. To all such topics Imogen […]
She knew she was valued for being a good hunter, but what Ea craved was to be normal. To spin like everyone else was the key to fitting in, and if she could only hear the music of the ocean like everyone else, she too would be able to tune in and do it. She […]
I’m wondering if you still think of her as a monster. I suppose it depends on what you think that word means. Monsters are, what? Ugly? Terrifying? Gorgons are both these things, certainly, although Medusa wasn’t always. Can a monster be beautiful if it is still terrifying? Perhaps it depends on how you experience fear […]
“The moms I knew when I was little didn’t have to prove that it was okay to want a child. Sure, a lot of women I know wonder if they do want a child, but not why. It’s assumed why. The question cis women get asked is: Why don’t you want kids? And then they […]
Colette was trying to develop a new way of looking at life, with more lightness, as if everything that seemed so substantial, like a school, or a home, or a marriage, was in fact only disposable and breakable. It was frightening, but also a relief. Phyllis used to joke about how Anne and her husband […]
I met my move quick-time, slip into the mass of closed-eyed skankers, sucked into the slipstream of rippling spines. Try to get as close as I can to the decks, watch the MC, see how he handles the mic and the controls. We’re dancing in darkness, skinning up with the dead. I feel them twisting […]
Michael lit a cigarette and smoked it in silence. The others spoke haltingly, in sentences with atrocious syntax, accents so off she hardly recognised some words, but they went on. Aside from the obvious one, this was the real difference between them. They had the confidence to be foolish, to be wrong. She asked Michael […]
Amy spends hours studying Russian in their room with the door closed. Her favorite letter in the Cyrillic alphabet is ж, which looks like a butterfly and sounds like the s in treasure, zh. Amy copies out all the words from her pocket dictionary that start with ж. Zoe is less diligent, preferring to play. […]
Mirsad stops to pluck something from Zora’s hair. He holds it between thumb and forefinger for her to see. “These have been falling all over the city for days now, as far out as the airport and Ilidža. Do you know what people are calling them?”“No.”“Black butterflies,” he says softly. He peers at the scorched […]
Now the pitcher came, along with our glasses rimmed with salt. Burt poured, and soon we were clinking the glasses together and saying cheers, with the camaraderie of soldiers on the eve of battle. The margarita was great. I was glad Burt had recognized the necessity of it. He’d also ordered nachos and guacamole as […]
There’s a tradition in Vietnamese culture,’ he said. ‘They believe that you need to give your dead a proper burial in their hometown. If not, their souls are cursed to wander the earth aimlessly, as ghosts.’ He looked down at the bottom of his empty glass, his smile slowly fading from his face, a frown […]
It was then that I saw the business of writing for what it truly was and is to me. It is your penance for not being lucky. It is an attempt to reach others and to make them love you. It is your instinctive protest, when you find you have no voice at the world’s […]
Barbara Comyns (1909-1992) oli brittiläinen kirjailija, joka tunnetaan synkän humoristisista ja surrealistisista romaaneistaan, jotka usein käsittelevät työväenluokan naisten elämää. Comyns on nimenä tullut usein vastaan muiden brittikirjailijoiden yhteydessä ja olen pitkään halunnut tutustua hänen tuotantoonsa. Comynsin nimi nousi taas esiin tuoreeltaan, kun häntä suositeltiin minulle Twitterissa Elizabeth Taylor -juttuni yhteydessä. Yllättäen juuri samaan aikaan oli […]
Ẹniọlá shrugged; he was grateful for the food he had just eaten. The quantity of food available for dinner varied from day to day because his parents were still trying to pay off the landlord. In spite of his mother’s pleas, Ẹniọlá now refused to go begging again since none of the money would go […]
Maurice Hearn sits alone in the café bar at the ferry terminal. He turns the remains of a third brandy in its glass. You keep going any way you can. The motions of the alcohol are familiar: the easy warming, the calm sustain, and now the slow grading into remorse. A melancholy hour falleth. As […]
It went around the village quickly. No one really knew what to do or say. Still, Kit and Paddy were kept busy with the visitors those first few days. People climbed the lane up from the main road in twos and threes and walked the fields down from Jamestown and Bunnacree to sympathize and speculate […]
Maeve had sandbags in her belly. When shit had happened before, she’d only had to share streets with the other side. But that morning she’d be sharing the air she breathed. And there was Aoife to think about. When she’d first moved to the town from the Free State, she’d been pure clueless. Maeve had […]
You’ve been wondering about your own relationship to open water. You’ve been wondering about the trauma and how it always finds its way to the surface, floating in the ocean. You’ve been wondering about how to protect that trauma from consumption. You’ve been wondering about departing, about being elsewhere. You have always thought if you […]
He was one of the various men Flora invited to the house whenever Meg was expected. She eagerly waited to hear Meg’s reactions, when next they met alone – sometimes in Meg’s lunch hour when Flora was shopping. If she could get Meg settled, Flora had decided, she herself would be quite happy, but her […]
“–and my point is, there’s always something. I think, as a species, we have a desire to believe that we’re living at the climax of the story. It’s a kind of narcissism. We want to believe that we’re uniquely important, that we’re living at the end of history, that now, after all these millennia of false […]
What’s an oxy, I’d asked. That November it was still a shiny new thing. OxyContin, God’s gift for the laid-off deep-hole man with his back and neck bones grinding like bags of gravel. For the bent-over lady pulling double shifts at Dollar General with her shot knees and ADHD grandkids to raise by herself. For […]
She will be found tomorrow morning dead from multiple stab-wounds, her wrists bound with a silk scarf and her ankles bound with a man’s necktie, in the grounds of an empty villa, in a park of the foreign city to which she is traveling on the flight now boarding at Gate 14. Crossing the tarmac […]
“The disappearance of God does not simply leave a void into which human reason can move. The death of God has set the angels free. And they are terrible.”“The angels––?”“There are principalities and powers. Angels are the thoughts of God. Now he had been dissolved into his thoughts which are beyond our conception in their […]
Broadcasting House was in fact dedicated to the strangest project of the war, or of any war, that is, telling the truth. Without prompting, the BBC had decided that truth was more important than consolation, and, in the long run, would be more effective. And yet there was no guarantee of this. Truth ensures trust, […]
Maybe it’s not, in the end, the virtues of others that so wrenches our hearts as it is the sense of almost unbearably poignant recognition when we see them at their most base, in their sorrow and gluttony and foolishness. You need the virtues, too—some sort of virtues—but we don’t care about Emma Bovary or […]
There are readings—of the same text—that are dutiful, readings that map and dissect, readings that hear a rustling of unheard sounds, that count grey little pronouns for pleasure or instruction and for a time do not hear golden or apples. There are personal readings, which snatch for personal meanings, I am full of love, or […]
You were born before Elvis had his first hit. And died before Freddie had his last. In the interim, you have shot thousands. You have photos of the government Minister who looked on while the savages of ’83 torched Tamil homes and slaughtered the occupants. You have portraits of disappeared journalists and vanished activists, bound […]
Once they reach the cast iron lamppost in the middle of the common, William turns to Martin. ‘You’re disgusted with me for leaving Gloria, aren’t you?’ ‘Not disgusted.’ Martin looks straight ahead. ‘It just seems such an unnecessary mess, William. You’re surrounded by people who love you. Surrounded.’ ‘It’s not easy being loved by people […]
He had never contemplated his own death. He was certain that the usual associations – dark, cold, silent, decay – were irrelevant. These could all be felt and understood. Death lay on the far side of darkness, beyond even nothing. Like all his friends he was dismissive of the afterlife. They sat through the compulsory […]
The edge is a shantytown filled with gold seekers. We are fugitives and the law is skinny with hunger for us. Kevin Wilson: Now Is Not the Time to Panic Kevin Wilsonin edellinen romaani Nothing to See Here kertoi liekkeihin leimahtavista sisaruksista. Uudessa romaanissa Now is Not the Time to Panic Coalfieldin pikkukaupungissa leimahtaa paniikki, […]
Viime vuosina olen rakastunut yhä syvemmin Iris Murdochin (1919-1999) teoksiin ja nyt teki mieli tutustua tarkemmin myös hänen elämäänsä. Tiesin, että Murdoch sairasti viimeisinä vuosinaan Alzheimeria, ja hänen romaanejaan lukiessa olen usein miettinyt, millaista mahtaa olla, kun tuollaisella äärimmäisen älykkäällä sanataiturilla katoaa yhteys muistoihin ja sanoihin. The Iris Trilogy kokoaa yhteen Murdochin aviomiehen John Bayleyn […]
Years ago in New York City I had taught at a community college and there was a man who taught there as well, he was much older than I was, and he retired soon after I got there. He was a nice man, with thick eyebrows, and he was quiet, though he seemed to like […]
It turned out that it was Ramsay Coker who was in charge over at the Sphinx. In Freda’s opinion, Ramsay Coker was a first-class twit. His head was always in the clouds. ‘I’m writing a novel,’ he told her, as if that was something to crow about, as if there weren’t enough novels in the […]
I will admit that the murder of Bethany Waites was my idea.We were all looking through the files for a new Thursday Murder Club case. There was a spinster in Rye in the early eighties, for example, who had died, leaving three unidentified skeletons and a suitcase containing fifty thousand pounds in her cellar. That […]
Tholukuthi it took the first decade of the donkey’s married life for her, by patiently piecing together fragments of the Father of the Nation’s nightmares and sleep talk, sometimes including whole conversations, lectures, debates, arguments, pleas, confessions, musings, by paying special attention to the intimate talk of the Seat of Power and Inner Circle, to […]
‘Fair do’s. Treacle Walker?’ ‘Joseph Coppock.’ ‘What is it you want for you? What is it you want most? For you. Not some wazzock else.’ ‘Never has a soul asked that of me.’ ‘What’s the answer?’ Treacle Walker leaned his head against the timber behind him and looked up into the stack. ‘To hear no […]
Being here, and making history with this movie that we should have had a long time ago, was a product of more than my own personal struggles; it was also the culmination of everything my parents had fought for. Our stories are one and the same, our destinies forever intertwined and defined by our sweat, […]
Strut, fly, gallop. There are so many ways to walk a street, but none of them will make you bulletproof. I got back from Mama’s and found myself stuck between street and gutter, Trevor knocking on the door early Sunday morning saying Vern been by again telling them they out if they don’t pay in […]
An obsession, a mania, Lib supposed it could be called. A sickness of the mind. Hysteria, as that awful doctor had named it? Anna reminded Lib of a princess under a spell in a fairy tale. What could restore the girl to ordinary life? Not a prince. A magical herb from the world’s end? Some […]
“Everybody talks about genocides around the world, but when the killing is slow and spread over a hundred years, no one notices. Where there are no mass graves, no one notices. American outrage is always for show. It has a shelf life. If that Griffin book had been Lynched Like Me, America might have looked […]
When Lia came to, Anne was perching next to a bed that was not her bed, in a room that was not her room. Her mother’s large planet-black eyes tapped shut every few seconds. She twitched curiously the way birds do when studying their very first hatching, their first glistening object of great and undivided […]
Yusuf’s new teacher wasted no time in putting him right on a number of matters. The day began at dawn and did not finish until Khalil said so. Nightmares and crying in the night were stupid so they were to have no more of that. Someone might think he was bewitched and have him sent […]
No one needs a relationship. What you need is the basic cop-on to figure that out, in the face of all the media bullshit screaming that you’re nothing on your own and you’re a dangerous freak if you disagree. The truth is, if you don’t exist without someone else, you don’t exist at all. And […]
Tory Foyle unwound the black chenille scarf from her hair. She was what was once held to be the typical English Beauty, her pink face, bright hair and really violet eyes. ‘I had a letter from Edward.’ She took a small piece of lined paper from her pocket and smoothed it. Beth poured tea and […]
How light and tall he almost felt walking along with this girl at his side and some fresh, new, unrecognisable joy in his heart. Was it possible that the best bit of him was shining forth, and surfacing? Some part of him, whatever it could be called – was there any name for it? – […]
self-portrait: at sea I’d like you to sing, he said. We don’t sing, Mr Lloyd. But I need something to focus on. Counting or singing. Not in this boat. I read in a book that you people always sing while rowing. Not a very good book then, is it, Mr Lloyd? I came here because […]
She hears all the voices from when she was little, soothing, strengthening: Don’t be scared, not of monsters, not of witches, not of big dogs. And now, snapping loud from every direction: Be scared, you have to be scared, ordering like this is your one absolute duty. Be scared you’re fat, be scared your boobs […]
On taas klassikkohaasteen aika. Olen ollut mukana osasta neljä lähtien, joten tämä on jo yhdestoista kerta. Klassikoita tulee luettua myös haasteen ulkopuolella, joten kovin haastavalta tämä kaksi postausta vuodessa ei tunnu. Tällä kertaa valitsin klassikkokirjailijaksi Henry Jamesin (1843-1916), jota en ole aiemmin lukenut. Häneen viitataan usein muissa kirjoissa, joita kesäisin luen, joten oli aika tutustua. […]
The smell of the sea swept over the wall and in through the empty window-hole, wide and wild with a million intoxicating secrets. I don’t trust that smell. It hooks us somewhere deeper than reason or civilization, in the fragments of our cells that rocked in oceans before we had minds, and it pulls till […]
The summer stretch had come into the evenings: it was gone seven, but the sky was a soft clear blue and the light flooding through the open windows was pale gold. All around us the Place was humming like a beehive, shimmering with a hundred different stories unfurling. Next door Mad Johnny Malone was singing […]
I saw her to the front door and closed it immediately after her as soon as she had stepped outside it. I went back into the flat, into the sitting-room, and closed the door. The room was sweet with heavy dusty sunlight. Her chair was where it had been. She had left her copy of […]
Cassandra started from her pleasant day-dreams and realized that she was the old lady. There was something pleasing about the idea of being really old – say between seventy and eighty, but not infirm or a nuisance to anybody. To have money and leisure to sit in a lovely garden, enjoying the sunshine and doing […]
It was hard to believe that Dolly Arborfield was Kitty Jeffreys’ sister, though one could detect a slight resemblance in features. Dolly’s hair was grey and frizzy and she wore clothes that melted into her background of old books, junk and animals. She was some years older than Kitty and would often joke about her […]
‘I don’t know if if we could have a curate here,’ said Mr Cleveland doubtfully, as if it were some strange kind of animal. ‘As a matter of fact I was thinking that perhaps, that is just perhaps, Miss Doggett might like to have him,’ said the vicar, bringing out the words with a rush. […]
Lady Asperley, at whose home years ago Kate and Alan had first met Dermot, had been lukewarm about a marriage – disastrous as she believed it must be – for which she held herself responsible. She had known Dermot was a drifter, but his voice reminded her of his father’s – a man she had […]
Polly was now dancing with her uncle, Boy. She did not look radiant and happy as such a spoilt darling should at her coming-out ball, but tired and pinched about the mouth, nor was she chattering away like the other women. ‘I shouldn’t care for one of my girls to look like that,’ Aunt Sadie […]
Soon it was almost too dark to see. The birds could still be vaguely apprehended, close overhead, like great leaves that fluttered but never fell, until at last they disappeared, gathered up into the obscurity of the coming night. Michael began to pace slowly back down the middle of the avenue. He did not turn […]
“Look, Cathleen, will you give up the nonsense? We’re eighteen and we’re bored to death.” She lit a cigarette and puffed vigorously. She went on: “We want to live. Drink gin. Squeeze into the front of big cars and drive up outside big hotels. We want to go places. Not to sit in this damp […]
This is the one thing I hope: that she never stopped. I hope when her body couldn’t run any farther she left it behind like everything else that tried to hold her down, she floored the pedal and she went like wildfire, streamed down night freeways with both hands off the wheel and her head […]
In the 1940s, Arthur Sackler had watched the introduction of Thorazine. It was a “major” tranquilizer that worked wonders on patients who were psychotic. But the way the Sackler family made its first great fortune was with Arthur’s involvement in marketing the “minor” tranquilizers Librium and Valium. Thorazine was perceived as a heavy-duty solution for […]
According to one scholar, the “ideal victim” in the Troubles was someone who was not a combatant, but a passive civilian. To many, Jean McConville was the perfect victim: a widow, a mother of ten. To others, she was not a victim at all, but a combatant by proxy, who courted her own fate. Of […]
Out of absolutely nowhere I felt a sudden, sweet shot of joy, piercing and distilled as the jolt I imagine heroin users get when the fix hits the vein. It was my partner bracing herself on her hands as she slid fluidly off the desk, it was the neat practiced movement of flipping my notebook […]
To be alive means full body contact with the absurd. Still, we can be happy. Even poor old Sisyphus could figure that much out. And that’s saying something. You might say that God is an absurd concept but faith in God’s goodness … I find joy in that. I find it inspiring. Oba! I’m rambling. […]
Mungo raised his hand to wave up at the window but Mo-Maw glowered down at him. He must have seen her face harden, or perhaps he thought waving was childish, because he aborted the gesture and grasped a fistful of air, which made him seem like a drowning man. In his baggy shorts and his […]
What Slavoj said was this: People are born from the womb of the world with different sensitivities, and the world needs every single one of you to experience it fully, so that it might be fully experienced. If even one person were left out, the world would be diminished. And he said you don’t have […]
Why did her family think pachinko was so terrible? Her father, a traveling salesman, had sold expensive life insurance policies to isolated housewives who couldn’t afford them, and Mozasu created spaces where grown men and women could play pinball for money. Both men had made money from chance and fear and loneliness. Every morning, Mozasu […]
Before I can start writing a novel, I have to know how it ends. I have to know where I’m going, otherwise I spend my days walking in circles. Not everyone is like this. I’ve heard writers say that they write in order to discover how the story ends, and if they knew the ending […]
As they told their swaggering stories and marched across the rain-shadow plains of the great mountain, they did not know that they were to spend years fighting across swamps and mountains and forests and grasslands, in heavy rain and drought, slaughtering and being slaughtered by armies of people they knew nothing about: Punjabis and Sikhs, […]
It was unreal to have your city turned inside and out. He felt unreal those days of the riots when his streets were made strange by violence. Despite what America saw on the news, only a fraction of the community had picked up bricks and bats and kerosene. The devastation had been nothing compared to […]
As I cycled past the rows of identical houses, I thought to myself again how much like nests they looked. They resembled a huge cocoon that Yuu and I had once found in the Akishina mountains. My town was a collection of nests, a factory for manufacturing babies. I was a tool for the town’s […]
Mom said everything was for my sake, calling it love. But to me, it seemed more like we were doing this out of her own desperation not to have a child that was different. Love, according to Mom’s actions, was nothing more than nagging about every little thing, with teary eyes, about how one should […]
The best thing is when a customer comes back and praises the book you recommended. I can’t get enough of that. Boy: I saved my lawn-mowing money to buy this book. Me: I had no idea that kids still did this. Boy: Kids still pull up the couch cushions too. For change. See? He held […]
Now she feels like an off-key note in the musical score of the universe. The point is not to play all the notes correctly, Rakel. The point is to impart the universe’s symphony. You were born to be expanded, just as the universe is expanding. Ever since you were born, you have been growing. At […]
After Julius’s departure Rupert sat for a long time thinking about what had been said. Was Julius wholly serious, half serious, or not serious at all? It was very hard to say and perhaps Julius himself did not really know. Rupert looked over at the pile of yellow notebooks, their neat order destroyed by Julius’s […]
Everybody said that there was a sex maniac loose in the complex and I thought—it’s about time. It had been a long asexual winter. The steam heat seemed to dry all of the body’s moistures and shrivel the fantasies of the mind. From the nineteenth floor of a building A, I watched snow fall on […]
St Valentine’s Book of Rhetoric, give me a precise and elegant metaphor to describe what those eyes of Capitu were like. How can I describe, without abandoning the dignity of classical style, what they were and what they did to me? Perhaps they were undertow eyes. Yes, undertow. That’s what they suggested to me. They […]
Woooooooo- hooooooo what a fall what a soar what a plummet what a dash into dark into light what a plunge what a glide thud crash what a drop what a rush what a swoop what a fright what a mad hushed skirl what a smash mush mash-up broken and gashed what a heart in […]
This morning’s group exercise involves scented sachets, distributed during the circle. Another doctor, no name, mimics Dr. Sloane’s even tone. Each sachet smells different, she explains, specifically designed to activate a patient’s essential memories, so they are advised to hold theirs close. Not to share. These are scents found outside. Baby steps, to their return. […]
My father had left the study light on and the book open and face down on his desk. I went in and picked it up but couldn’t find the bit he had read. Trying to wedge it into a non-existent space on his shelves, I thought of him saying once – the summer I spent […]
‘I am consumed by a desire to see your house,’ Amy read. ‘Laurel House, Laurel Walk sounds so English.’ Martha’s spidery, American hand-writing. Ernie, bringing in a pot of coffee, asked, ‘Everything all right, madam?’ His new teeth clicked badly. If they were to do it for ever, she felt that she could not bear […]
We can pull atoms apart, peer back at the first light and predict the end of the universe with just a handful of equations, squiggly lines and arcane symbols that normal people cannot fathom, even though they hold sway over their lives. But it’s not just regular folks; even scientists no longer comprehend the world. […]
And then he’s gone. She can hear him walking away up the passage. His footsteps sound hesitant, but he doesn’t turn back. Nor will the moment return, which is true of all moments, though not equally. Alone in Pa’s study, what the room will always be to her, she lies down and closes her eyes […]
This is a female text, composed by folding someone else’s clothes. My mind holds it close, and it grows, tender and slow, while my hands perform innumerable chores. This is a female text, born of guilt and desire, stitched to a soundtrack of nursery rhymes. Doireann Ní Ghríofa: A Ghost in the Throat Äänikirjapalvelun algoritmit […]
Daylight was appearing over London, the great city of bachelors. Half-pint bottles of milk began to be stood on the doorsteps of houses containing single apartments from Hampstead Heath to Greenwich Park, and from Wanstead Flats to Putney Heath; but especially in Hampstead, especially in Kensington. In Queen’s Gate, Kensington, in Harrington Road, The Boltons, […]
Riding over the bridge – in the back of my own taxi that evening – I suddenly remembered times early in our marriage in our Village apartment when I had felt terrible. It was about my parents, and the feeling that I had left them behind – as I had – and I would sometimes […]
Probably the question I am asked more often than any other is: Do you honestly believe there is hope for our world? For the future of our children and grandchildren? And I am able to answer truthfully, yes. I believe we still have a window of time during which we can start healing the harm […]
She’d thought, I’ll do this first and think about it afterward. Now afterward had come and she had no idea what to think. I am baptized, I am married, I am Lila Dahl, and Lila Ames. I don’t know what else I should want. Except for the shame to be gone, and it ain’t. I’m […]
Elfrieda has a fresh cut just above her left eyebrow. There are seven stitches holding her forehead together. The stitches are black and stiff and the ends poke out of her head like little antennae. I asked her how she got that cut and she told me that she fell in the washroom. Who knows […]
Ee-ee? Ee-ee-eet? Every hair on Seymour’s arms stands up straight. The owl is so well camouflaged that it vocalizes three more times before the boy sets eyes on it, and when he does he gasps. It blinks three times, four. In the shadow against the bark, with its eyelids closed, the owl vanishes. Then the […]
On rough nights when Robin retreated to my bed, he wanted to be on the side farthest from the endless terrors outside the window. (His mother had always wanted the safe side, too.) He daydreamed, had trouble with deadlines, and yes, he refused to focus on things that didn’t interest him. But he never fidgeted […]
I do wish something exciting would happen again. I don’t mind what.Perhaps a fire, but where no one gets hurt? Just flames and fire engines. We can all stand around watching, with flasks, and Ron can shout advice to the firefighters. Or an affair, that would be fun. Preferably mine, but I’m not greedy, so […]
He could see the leafless thickets of brush rushing past in the foreground before him, the white-hot horizon melting into the cloudless sky in the background, could feel the thin steel floor vibrating beneath his feet and his shirt billowing in the wind, but standing there leaning out through the door of the train, knowing […]
‘It’s not a secret,’ said Leopold haughtily.‘Oh, Miss Fisher said it was.’‘Did she tell you not to ask me things?’‘How do you mean?’ she said, flustered.Leopold smiled to himself. ‘She told me not to answer, whatever you said. She hopes I won’t say anything.’‘Then ought you to?’ said Henrietta, reproving.‘I don’t have to be obedient […]
I’m sure Michk’ heard the quick tap of the woman’s fingers on her keyboard. ‘I have the name of a Miss Marie Chapier. Shall I call her?’‘I don’t know…’‘Is she your daughter?’‘No.’‘Do you want me to call her?’‘Yes, please. Tell her I didn’t want to … truffle her, but it’s because I’m losing something, something […]
Following the meal, the group usually moved to the small Tapestry Room to discuss the latest news: the bombing of Pearl Harbor, Virginia Woolf’s suicide, Nancy’s brother-in-law who was missing in action. After thoroughly covering the topics of the day, they’d turn to savagely reviewing books and friends. The nights ended with Eddy and Helen […]
Boud and I both avoided the company of the Grown-Ups at this time as much as we could. At Swinbrook, we lived in the DFD except for meal-times. We divided it down the middle, and Boud decorated her side with Fascist insignia of all kinds – the Italian ‘fasces’, a bundle of sticks bound with […]
“It is a foolish theory that a man should not give his life to teaching girls,” said Josephine. “A woman would not be ashamed of teaching boys; and the two things are just the same.” “They may be said to be the opposite of each other,” said Simon. “But I am of your mind, my […]
When they returned to town, Margaret fulfilled one of her sea-side resolves, and took her life into her own hands. Before they went to Cromer, she had been as docile to her aunt’s laws as if she were still the scared little stranger who cried herself to sleep that first night in Harley Street nursery. […]
How to announce the return of comfort and well-being except by cooking something fragrant. That is what her mother always did. After every calamity of any significance she would fill the atmosphere of the house with the smell of cinnamon rolls or brownies, or with chicken and dumplings, and it would mean, This house has […]
We had never learnt to dance, and, for some reason, we had supposed it to be a thing which everybody could do quite easily and naturally. I think Linda realized there and then what it took me years to learn, that the behavior of civilized man really has nothing to do with nature, that all […]
Molly is the gravedigger girl. She’s heard people in town call her that. Poor little gravedigger girl. Mad little gravedigger girl. She leans on her shovel. It has a wooden handle as long as she is tall, with a wide dirt-stained sheet-steel blade with teeth on its sides for root cutting. Molly has given the […]
As I lay there, listening to the soft slap of the sea, and thinking these sad and strange thoughts, more and more and more stars had gathered, obliterating the separateness of the Milky Way and filling up the whole sky. And far far away in that ocean of gold, stars were silently shooting and falling […]
That ring at the door that I loved so much would bring, in the afternoon, my mother’s friends or, on rare occasions, my married aunts. In the evening a much more exciting variety of family friends rang the bell, many of them fairly eccentric, in whom I took a deep interest. Only a few months […]
“[…] Cecil All over again. He daren’t let a woman decide. He’s the type who’s kept Europe back for a thousand years. Every moment of his life he’s forming you, telling you what’s charming or amusing or ladylike, telling you what a man thinks womanly; and you, you of all women, listen to his voice […]
And for two hours the wine was poured, the cheese cut, and the two men talked. Of what? Who knows? Of love, of war, of the past. And they listened with hearts instead of ears, and in the candle-lit kitchen three floors up in an old palazzo, death was put on hold. Sarah Winman: Still […]
He was taken to the Pensione Sofia through the sunny waters of palaces, domes and ferries. It was his first visit to Venice and he was young; but he had only half a mind to feel enchanted, the other half being still occupied with a personal anxiety in Paris from where he had just come. […]
‘Reading, were you?’ Rupert picked up the book which lay one the little table by the fire. It turned out to be the poems of Tennyson, bound in green morocco. Could she really have been reading that? he wondered, looking around for the novel stuffed behind a cushion.‘Yes, but I was just going to make […]
Desmond did not come. The sweater Mrs Palfrey was knitting for him neared completion, and everyone knew that he had not come to claim it. Saving face had been an important part of life in the Far East, and Mrs Palfrey tried to save hers now. Trouble usually comes from doing so, and it came […]
Dark had so gained the trees that Lois, turning back from the window, was surprised at how light the room was. Day still coming in from the fields by the south windows was stored in the mirrors, in the sheen of the wallpaper, so that the room still shone. Mr. Montmorency had come in and […]
All down the stone steps on either side were periwinkles in full flower, and she could now see what it was that had caught at her the night before and brushed, wet and scented, across her face. It was wistaria. Wistaria and sunshine . . . she remembered the advertisement. Here indeed were both in profusion. The […]
There was a general air of relief to be safely back indoors, for the party to begin ‘properly’. A quick glance round the room told Emma that it was not a very interesting gathering, or at least it did not look to be, for most of the people standing round, clutching glasses of sherry or […]
Pym found Oxford ‘intoxicating’. In no small part this was because she suddenly found herself the centre of male attention and, like many girls from single-sex schools, she was ready to enjoy being in the company of young men. As with her heroine, Miss Bates, in her third published novel Jane and Prudence, the male […]
They shouldn’t have split up like that, in any case. Doc was always saying he knew this place like the back of his hand but they were still literally in the middle of nowhere. Going off for a photo opportunity had seemed suboptimal. Luke had thought it was a bad idea as soon as Doc […]
She, like all mothers, constantly casts out her thoughts, like fishing lines, towards her children, reminding herself of where they are, what they are doing, how they fare. From habit, while she sits there near the fireplace, some part of her mind is tabulating them and their whereabouts: Judith, upstairs. Susanna, next door. And Hamnet? […]
The desk in my Helsinki hotel room had a thin phone book in its top drawer. Finland was so small that every listing fit into the same volume, the numbers organized by town. I flipped to the town of Inari and scanned the names until I got to “Valkeapää”. He was listed. I shut the […]
Jeanie rounds up the chickens early and sits beside Dot’s grave to eat a sandwich she made at Bridget’s. Already the earth mound is green with a forest of seedling weeds and the area is visible only if you know to look for it. She feels as though she should apologize to Dot for making […]
I used to spend my coffee-break and my tea-time with Connie, sometimes in her office, sometimes in mine. My job was to collect from her those few new manuscripts that had a faint possibility of being shaped into a book for publication, or whose authors should perhaps be nurtured. It was a very tentative affair, […]
Dear Editor,I was interested to read your article ‘Men No Longer Needed for Reproduction’ in last week’s paper. I have always believed my own daughter (now ten) to have been born without the involvement of any man. If you would like to know more information you may write to me at the above address. The […]
“I don’t know if I ever liked you,” I say, and bathroom acoustics being what they are, the declaration is magnified and that much more unkind, which makes me feel bad until I see that he is missing a shoe, and I feel it anew, this terrible disappointment in myself that I am happy to […]
No, I’d open a refuge for mothers. A retreat. Concrete 1970s brutalism, an anti-domestic architecture without flounces. Something low with big windows and wide corridors, carpets to deaden sound. There will be five or six rooms off the corridor, each with a wall of glass and sliding doors looking on to a cold, grey beach. […]
Mauro was the one who put it in her head that Bogotá was just another pueblo masquerading as a metropolis and there was more to discover. In their mountains and hungry valleys, they were all descendants of massacred Indigenous Peoples, their violated foremothers. They could hate the conquistadores for what they stole, but they couldn’t […]
‘Klara, do you think once we’re in the window, we’ll receive so much goodness we’ll never get short again?’ I was still quite new then, so didn’t know how to answer, even though the same question had been in my mind. Then our turn finally came, and Rosa and I stepped into the window one […]
We are thirteen, almost fourteen, and these streets of Sea Cliff are ours. We walk these streets to our school perched high over the Pacific and we run these streets to the beaches, which are cold, windswept, full of fishermen and freaks. We know these wide streets and how they slope, how they curve toward […]
I wanted to go on sitting there, not talking, not listening to the others, keeping the moment precious for all time, because we were peaceful all of us, we were content and drowsy even as the bee who droned above our heads. In a little while it would be different, there would come tomorrow, and […]
As I walked, I was thinking about the Great and Secret Knowledge, which the Other says will grant us strange new powers. And I realised something. I realised that I no longer believed in it. Or perhaps that is not quite accurate. I thought it was possible that the Knowledge existed. Equally I thought that […]
This was how you did it, how you raised children. You built them a house that was impervious to danger and then you gave them every single thing that they could ever want, no matter how impossible. You read to them at night. Why couldn’t people figure this out? And then I realized they were […]
Almost one year ago I was coming to Mr. Debnath’s house for the first time. He was asking to take my interview in the street. Because – he was saying, this was his explanation – the house was being painted, so there was nowhere to sit.Rubbish. Where were the painters, the rags, the buckets, the […]
She was beginning to realize what she would soon know for sure: there was no plan to go back home or to go anywhere else, even, and her mother was lying each time she pretended that there was. The next day, she was sitting alone during lunch when Louisa cornered her, flanked by three beige […]
My theme is memory, that winged host that soared about me one grey morning of wartime. These memories, which are my life—for we possess nothing certainly except the past—were always with me. Like the pigeons of St. Mark’s, they were everywhere, under my feet, singly, in pairs, in little honey-voiced congregations, nodding, strutting, winking, rolling […]
He left the station yard at a run and began to run along the road towards the school. It was a long way. The hot sun struck him on the brow with repeated blows, and the warm air refused to refresh his lungs. He ran on, panting and gasping. He must get to his bicycle, […]
The pizza arrived startlingly fast, seared with black from the wood fired oven. It smelled so good, Noah somewhat regretted ordering the fish.Michael glowered. “I knew there’d be goddamn margherita.”“Those are just basil leaves, for a garnish.” Noah lifted one off with his fork.“I don’t eat fucking garnish.” Michael gouged them out and flicked them […]
Caroline was quickly asleep. And even as she slept, she felt herself appreciating her sleep; told herself, this was the best sleep she had had for six months. She told herself to sleep on, for she would wake up presently, and then she would mean business. At this point in the narrative, it might be […]
Despite the awful weather, the decks were packed. As the ship slid free, the band on the jetty struck up with a round of ‘Rule Britannia’, and passengers hurled down hundreds of thousands of streamers that filled the dock in a giant web, while Enid whooped and blew kisses, though presumably not to anyone she […]
Mrs. Lee-Mittison brought their Continental Daily Mail down to the lounge with her and sat on it. She did not wish to read it herself, but did not dare to put it down beside her because she knew that someone would come up and ask just to glance at it – people so soon lose […]
From the road, the bindery looked as if it was burning. The sun was setting behind us, and the red-gold blaze of the last sunlight was reflected in the windows. Under the dark thatch every pane was like a rectangle of flame, too steady to be fire but so bright I thought I could feel […]
It was a relief to return to normal life again and to get through New Year’s Eve, with its feeling of sadness. The days began to lengthen and the first signs of spring appeared. In the meantime social life had started up again, by which Leonora meant her ‘new’ social life with Humphrey and James. […]
The Great House had been built by robber barons in the nineteenth century, a palatial retreat for the green months. Our parents, those so-called figures of authority, roamed its rooms in vague circuits beneath the broad beams, their objective murky. And of no general interest.They liked to drink: it was their hobby, or—said one of […]
In the world I notice persons are nearly always stressed and have no time. Even Grandma often says that, but she and Steppa don’t have jobs, so I don’t know how persons with jobs do the jobs and all the living as well. In Room me and Ma had time for everything. I guess the […]
No one understood. How could they? Even Ellen struggled with it. She knew that this drama wasn’t about her and yet she could feel her life slipping away, all her assumptions about who she was and what people thought of her upended through no fault of her own. She accepted she had no right to […]
Elizabeth had formed the Thursday Murder Club with Penny. Penny had been an inspector in the Kent Police for many years, and she would bring along the files of unsolved murder cases. She wasn’t really supposed to have the files, but who was to know? After a certain age, you can pretty much do whatever […]
And so, with a slow sweep of the arm that remained forever etched in my memory, he took out a match, lit it, and tossed it onto the pile of books. With a quiet huff…ff…ff the flames rippled over the pages, catching first the old books with the brown paper whose smell I loved so […]
Doctor Lynn peered into the abdominal cavity, which was pulpy with dark juice. She dictated: Liver swollen, signs of internal bleeding. Kidney inflamed and oozing. Colon ulcerated. I followed her scalpel with my own, taking samples. She murmured, We could always blame the stars. I beg your pardon, Doctor? That’s what influenza means: influenza delle stelle–the influence of […]
In India, individual shame did not exist. Humiliation spread, as easily as oil on wax paper, to the entire family, even to distant cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews. The rumormongers made sure of that. Blame lay heavily in my chest. Had I not deserted my marriage, Radha would not have suffered so much, and […]
The day was bright again, as if England had forgotten how to rain. The bracken is always the first to turn, bronze already coming through at midsummer, but it was still a steadfast deep green. It seemed as if all the flowers were out at once, purple and yellow vetch, foxgloves, of course the heather […]
Hirai looked into Kazu’s eyes and gave a firm, definite nod. Kazu put the coffee in front of Hirai. She picked up the silver kettle from the tray with her right hand and looked at Hirai from underneath her lowered brow. This was the ceremony. The ceremony did not change, no matter who was sitting […]
‘Mandy.’ He reached out and held her hand. ‘You’ll make a great mom, you know.’ She moved her thumb back and forth across the palm of his hand and kept her mouth shut. He didn’t know. He could hope, was all. If she turned out to be anything like her own mother, she’d be a […]
In the second silence all heads turn toward Martin. He speaks of satellites in orbit that are able to see everything. The street where we live, the building we work in, the socks we are wearing. A rain of asteroids. The sky thick with them. Could happen anytime. Asteroids that become meteorites as they approach […]
With hope being my guiding light, I journeyed on. Sometimes when I allowed myself a good sleep, I’d go into a village and ask people to let us stay the night. I paid for it. There were plenty of thieves around, but many country people opened their doors to us. We slept on dirt floors, […]
Edith, in her veal-colored room in the Hotel du Lac, sat with her hands in her lap, wondering what she was doing there. And then remembered, and trembled. And thought with shame of her small injustices, of her unworthy thoughts towards those excellent women who had befriended her, and to whom she had revealed nothing. […]
Dawn. There’s no sunrise, no birdsong. Light seeps over the water, through the branches. The sky is lying on the loch, filling the trees, heavy in the spaces between the pine needles, settling between blades of grass and mottling the pebbles on the beach. Although there’s no distance between cloud and land, nowhere for rain […]
“Definitely Mom isn’t herself. Daddy would scarcely recognize her. He’d had made her color her hair. He wouldn’t have wanted a wife that look her age. He’d be just sickened by this Hugo, looking like Che Guevara. Daddy hated communists. If we were a mafia family, we’d know what to do. We wouldn’t be wringing […]
This is how the ambush begins: with the slow rise of a monarch’s shadow from a tall mountain peak. With the emperor’s faint image caught in the whir and snap of a camera, reflected in the glint of a lens to ricochet against fog and hill. As Kidane’s army, new recruits and seasoned fighters, prepares […]
Glen was the one who knew about the study, putting people in the Wilderness State. When things worsened in the City and Agnes’s health cratered, like so many children’s had, Glen was the one who offered his help to the researchers in exchange for three spots – for him, Bea, and Agnes. Bea’s hunch had […]
Letty and Marcia began a more leisurely tidying up. They did not speak of or break into gossip about the two men, who were accepted as part of the office furniture and not considered worthy of comment unless they did something surprisingly out of character. Outside, the pigeons on the roof were picking at each […]
Where there are no trees, the earth is an ochre yellow, scored with deep zigzag lines, quite a picture, and the young curled leaves are starting to sprout on the tips of the branches. In the night, when I lie awake, I see sky. A vast violet expanse of sky, a land of beauty that […]
Today language abandoned me. I could not find the word for a simple object – a commonplace familiar furnishing. For an instant, I stared into a void. Language tethers us to the world; without it we spin like atoms. Later, I made an inventory of the room – a naming of parts: bed, chair, table, […]
At this point perhaps I should say a word about myself. My name is James Donaghue, but you needn’t bother about that, as I was in Dublin only once, on a whiskey blind, and saw daylight only twice, when they let me out of Store Street police station, and then Finn put me on the […]
Oliver Davenant did not merely read books. He snuffed them up, took breaths of them into his lungs, filled his eyes with the sight of the print and his head with the sound of words. Some emanation from the book itself poured into his bones, as if he were absorbing steady sunshine. The pages had […]
Her body hung off the side of the bed, and by the odd angle Shuggie could tell the drink had spun her all night like a Catherine wheel. He turned her head to the side to stop her choking on her rising boak. Then he placed the mop bucket near the bed and gently unzipped […]
I liked imagining Julian had a wife back in England. I am a jezebel, I’d think. This wine rack was a wedding gift and I am using it to store Jack Daniel’s because I have terrible taste in everything. She is Catholic – in the English recusant aristocrat sense, not the Irish poverty sense – […]
‘Maurice, what shall I do?’‘Well, have you been to see him yet?’‘Not yet. But of course I ought to. As soon as I can find someone to stay with the girls, for a night or two if it’s necessary, I’m going to go. Thank you for making my mind up.’‘No, don’t do that.’‘Don’t do what?’‘Don’t […]
It’s been my habit of mind, over these years, to understand that every situation in which human beings are involved can be turned on its head. Everything someone assures me to be true might not be. Every pillar of belief the world rests on may or may not be about to explode. Most things don’t […]
My revulsion at this place of our lives – this society of which we are a part – seems not to immediately admit an obvious truth: the people who are ground to bits by our horrific thoughtlessness, selfishness, greed, though they may not know in each case why it has happened, they do not need […]
“What is your remarkable little friend doing?” asked a voice behind me, and I turned to find Mary Cavendish at my elbow. She smiled, and so did I. “What is it all about?” “Really, I can’t tell you. He asked Dorcas some question about a bell, and appeared so delighted with her answer that he […]
‘I can’t think why you’re so inquisitive. It isn’t as if you’d even met Neville Forbes.’‘No, but it’s like a kind of game,’ said Dulcie. It seemed – though she did not say this to Viola – so much safer and more comfortable to live in the lives of other people – to observe their […]
When we grow older we lack the fine courage of youth, and even an ordinary task like making a pullover for somebody we love or used to love seems too dangerous to be undertaken. Then Agatha might get to hear of it; that was something else to be considered. Her long, thin fingers might pick […]
‘Perhaps you will see Piers’s lodgings,’ said Sybil, when I told her of the invitation, so much more respectable than my secret expedition would have been.‘Lodgings’ sounder old-fashioned and sordid, and for a moment I felt as if it were wrong to be looking forward to the afternoon so much.‘He asked me to have tea […]
It’s Tom’s thesis,’ said Deirdre in a reverent tone. ‘He’s just given me a copy to read. Look,’ she unwrapped the paper, ‘four hundred and ninety seven pages. How does he do it?’ ‘Well,’ said Catherine, ‘writers of fiction would tell you that one just goes on and on until one reaches page four hundred […]
Jane realized from Nicholas’s laugh and the uncomfortable silence that followed that she ought not to have spoken. ‘I wonder whether a cup of tea would help us to see things in better perspective,’ she said quickly. ‘I will just go and see Mrs Glaze about it,’ she added, hurrying from the room.‘A cup of […]
When the roses bloomed, the garden was a sea of silver. Before Ava knew it, summer would be gone. This is the way time moved in the human world. Slowly at first, and then much too fast. The heron still nested on the rooftop, but she knew that in a few months’ time he would […]
Dad lost his job at the gypsum mine after getting in an argument with the foreman, and when Christmas came that year, we had no money at all. On Christmas Eve, Dad took each of us kids out into the desert night one by one. I had a blanket wrapped around me, and when it […]
I am trying. And I am afraid. I am afraid to write about side-stepping and feelings and overwork and depression and breakdown because I am still convinced that admitting vulnerability makes me weak, not strong. I am afraid of confirming that I am young and cute and powerless. I am afraid of admitting to all […]
“What’s it really like?” Leni asked Matthew the next day at the end of school. All around them, kids were gathering up their supplies to go home.“What?”“Winter.”Matthew thought about it. “Terrible and beautiful. It’s how you know if you’re cut out to be an Alaskan. Most go running back to the Outside before it’s over.”“The […]
I am not aware at this moment that I have lost my innocence. I will realize it many years later. One day I will look back and understand that just as there was a moment in my life when I realized where my power lay, there was also a specific moment when I stopped believing […]
In her current life, it happened at least once a week that someone would wander into the store and then, when they discovered its mission, say something like “Oh, I remember that time!” Fiona had learned to check her temper, to push her toes into the floor so her face didn’t change. “I knew someone […]
at times like these Amma misses Dominique, who long ago absconded to America they should be sharing her breakthrough career moment togetherthey met in the eighties at an audition for a feature film set in a women’s prison (what else?)both were disillusioned at being put up for such parts as a slave, servant, prostitute, nanny […]